Life & Times of a Geeky Girl

Let’s talk about Race

2010-05-11T18:43:00.001-04:00

Sandra Bullock recently adopted a child. She divorced her cheating husband, pulled up her socks and moved on. In the process she learned to love a child. She is now a parent. I love this. I love the fact that two people have found a love in each other than cannot be quantified. From what I can see, they are happy.

And that is all kinds of awesomeness.

What bothers me is the comments that are being generated from this adoption. People are jumping around waving red flags because she is a white woman who has adopted a black child. This is apparently a negative. I am hearing all kind of arguments about how she could never love him like a black woman could, how he will lose his culture, how this adoption has ruined his “blackness”. There have been arguments that as a mother she is going to fail him and as a son he will never be adequate.

Please forgive my profanity here but that is bullshit, a whole truck load of it.

I would love someone to define “blackness” and “whiteness” to me. I want someone to define “black culture” and how it differs from “white culture” to me. I want a definition that steps away from perpetuated norms, one that steps away from stereotypes and gives me something that is not socially constructed to fit neatly into a box. I don’t want to hear about ghettos, oppression, hip hop, or social clubs. I want to know what makes a black person inherently different from a white person, what are the markers that differentiate the races.

I want to know this simply because there are none. Every single person on this planet has different experiences. No two people have walked the same path. While some races have journeyed along together no members have the same experience. No one person can say that every single other person experienced the same thing because shared experiences en mass do not exist. Locations can be shared but experiences cannot. No two people will ever have the exact same idea and because of that there is no inherent sameness between people. And without that inherent sameness there cannot be an inherent difference between people.

To start segregating the population based on race doesn’t provide an end. It is only the beginning. If you separate the populations based on race, then break it down further, break it down by sex, then by class, then by sexuality, then by age and then by geographic location. Lastly, break it down by experience. Now you are left with the individual.

And as long winded as that example was, my point is this, what is the purpose of breaking down society? Why can we not accept ourselves as a global village where each member is a sum of their single being and that instead of trying to further break things apart we should work on repairing.

Dip me in axle grease and call me slick

2010-03-19T08:50:00.003-04:00

Yup, when you stop trying it happens.

Maks and Stinky will have a new little brother or sister at the end of September.

For my FB peoples please don't say anything on my wall please, my boss doesn't know yet. :P

Book Review: The Time Travelers Wife

2009-11-03T20:24:00.002-05:00

* I am stating this upfront: I AM NOT ROMANTIC. With the exception of Dirty Dancing, The Notebook, and A Love Story, I have not encountered a love story that I did not find utterly ridiculous and this was not an exception.*

The story starts off with six year old Clare. She meets a naked 20 something year old Henry in a field. He tells her that he is a time traveler and that she will be his wife in the future. He continues to visit her over the course of her life, in which she ages chronologically but he comes in various ages sometimes in his 20’s, 30’s or 40’s, and each time he tells her about how they are going to be together in the future.

When Clare finally meets the Henry she will meet him when they are the same age but he won’t know who she is. It is not until she starts telling him about how he used to visit her as a little girl that he decides to go back in time to see what she is talking about. He has to go backwards to understand her moving forward. It is semi – confusing as he is always trying to catch up with her past. They get together, get married, have a child and he eventually dies as she grows old.

Typical romance novel dribble.

Here are my issues with the book:

He screwed her over. He starts visiting her from childhood telling her about this great love that they are going to share and how they are meant to be together. Because of this she basically gives up on love. She doesn’t date, have any other romantic relationships (except for the one night stand that she has with her best friend’s boyfriend), she just sits around waiting for him to materialize. Literally.

While she was waiting, he was out sleeping with other women, having relationships and experiences that Clare never experienced all because he didn't dedicate his life to her until after he met her.

He is perfect. I hate this description. No one is perfect. The reason he is perfect is because she doesn’t know any one else.

All she does is wait. She spends 75% of the book waiting for him. Her adolescent and young adult years are spent waiting for them to meet. Her married years are spent waiting for him to appear whenever he disappears. After his death she spends the rest of her adulthood waiting for him to reappear one last time. She doesn’t enjoy life because she is forever waiting.

I found the entire novel depressing and sad.

Gather 'round let me tell you a story...

2009-09-30T20:29:00.002-04:00

Once upon a time there was a girl who spent a good deal of her life comparing herself to someone else. The girl she compared herself to was someone that someone else had loved. The girl was always told that the girl that someone else had loved was beautiful, smart, an angel, the world, articulate, creative, curvy, slim, brilliant, captivating, delicious, mesmerizing and everything & anything. She was someone that the girl could never be. She would never measure up.

It took a long time for the girl to convince herself that she was equal to the girl that someone else had loved. It took a long time for her to understand that even though she wasn't everything and anything to that person, she was everything and anything to someone else and that made her heart smile.

But there was one aspect of the other girl that the girl wanted. She wanted friends. The someone that someone else had loved had friends. She had heart friends that loved her. She had creative friends to whom she could express herself. She had fun friends with whom she could call on a whim. She oodles and oodles of friends and the girl had none.

The girl had none. And it is doubtful that she ever would have the friendships that the someone that someone else loved had. That made her sad but she accepted it and moved on.

I can relate

2009-08-17T20:51:00.002-04:00

This is Aubrey. She was on the last season of the Biggest Loser. She is a mom of four who was on the show to lose weight for her kids. On the show she lost a good bit of weight and vowed to keep working when she got home.

But she didn’t.

Life caught up with her and she put back on the weight. She didn’t want to put back on the weight she tried to get working like she did on the show but she just couldn’t keep going because life wouldn’t let her.

I was angry at her when I saw that. I was certain that she would be able to keep going and I couldn’t understand why she just couldn’t keep working hard.

I was wrong.

I am her.

Life is catching up with me and it is really hard for me to keep the weight that I lost off. I don’t have the drive anymore and it feels like I am running uphill to get where I was.

In the two weeks since Caribana I have put on weight. In the two weeks since Boot camp and Socacize, I have put on weight. I wish I could stop putting on weight but it is so easy to be lazy. I am trying to get the mindset that I once had back but it is so hard. I never thought it would be this hard.

I can now relate to Aubrey.

Let’s get political: Obama half way in

2009-08-15T21:43:00.000-04:00

OK so we are half way through President Obama’s first year in office. According to the polls his approval rating is down to 50% which puts him lower down in popularity that George W was at the same time into his first year. So with that being said, I figured that I would weigh in on his performance thus far and give my unsolicited opinion.

I’m not impressed.

Now before you start typing up the mean comments keep reading.

I am not ignoring the fact that he came into a very difficult situation; he has to deal with a recession that resembles the great depression, two wars and a whole lot of global dislike thanks to his predecessor. Hell, Jesus would have a tough time given those odds. And no I am not comparing him to Jesus, Mohammed, Buddha, or any other deity. I am not raising him to those heights frankly because the idolization of politicians and celebrities is a completely different post that I don’t feel like writing today. But my point was: anybody would have a hard time dealing messes that he has to deal with.

That point taken, I am not impressed.

During the election, the campaigning was the popularity contest that would rival any high school election. And Obama played his part to the tee. He was the athletic, popular kid who relied on his good looks and charm to get him into office. And I commend him for that. His PR people recognized what would work and they ran with it. The general population was not concerned with his political platform but how buff he looked without his shirt on. He graced the covers of pop culture publications and went on MTV. His PR plan was genius and obviously it worked.

6 months into it he is still playing the part of the popular kid. He is still strutting around shooting basketballs, and discussing his love of mustard. However, this is the time to switch it up and move into nerd mode. He has to start treating politics like the science that it is and stop spending so much of his time at photo ops and luncheons. This is the time that he should invoke his knowledge about economics not popular culture. The time for pomp and pageantry is over and it is time to get down to business. Failure to do so will result in two with a lack of substance. It will result in two years of flashbulbs, broken promises and very little change. If he was sincere in his ideology of change, and it wasn’t just some spinmasters articulated woven scheme, then he should start making one now.

But that’s just my opinion.

And no I am not a republican.

Caribana Recap

2009-08-06T21:09:00.001-04:00

I copied this from Beanz. I thought she had a way better synopsis than I did. I did make a few changes though because she went through some things that I didn’t.

Tornadoes in the city!!!
Flight cancelled, call the bus company
No time
Delayed flight of almost 3 hours
Arriving into Canada at 4:30 am
Parade starting ON TIME!!! Zoom there goes a flying pig and Hell is freezing over
running around the CNE trying to make it into our sections before we crossed the stage
"don't worry, we won't leave you".......wait?! where did the poison ivy go?!?
"is that rain???"
sprint 2 blocks uphill
"you guys better hurry up" as they run by we hear "Wild roses crosses the stage".....WTH!!!
We Won!
foam fete with no foam, no liquor, no water, and the lights on
"this is not soca"
"he can definitely handle his alcohol"
"where's DD and cousin??" MIA. 3 hours later DD: "Cousin's past out in the bathroom"
Pour water on his head
Beanz is going to throw up, and she’s sober!
Neekeee's 10 year hiatus over!!!!
♥♥♥ Juniors Cheesecake
boom boom badoom. "what's that noise?" "Tru fell down the stairs"
"no Marky, you cannot eat mommy's costume"
"no Stinky, you cannot take six breaks and come with us"
12 missed calls from Home
6 texts from Millhouse
"Let's go for apple pie"
Quick Beanz be the navigator
Apples are only in season in September!!!
3 different apple orchards and all are closed
Bought some cherry pie instead
Wiggle your butt and climb up backwards
Tractor ride
"Maybe make those piggies things say ur name"......blank stare from cashier
Zzzzzzzz…………

Then & Now

2009-08-06T20:53:00.005-04:00

So without further ado, here is my then & now.

The red is Caribana 2008 and the brown and blue is Caribana 2009.

Hey Fat Ass – Time to face the music

2009-07-27T21:50:00.001-04:00

So I gave myself until July 18 to lose 30lbs and now it is time to see how I did.

Now before I give you the actual numbers ~ I have to apologize to all those people from the weight loss shows on TV, The Biggest Loser, The Last Ten Pounds Boot Camp, X Weighted. I always scoffed when the numbers came in and they were lower than the goal. “I mean come on you had six months and you only lost 26lbs!” You should have lost more than that, worked harder, and cheated less. I am sorry for being so judgmental. Losing weight is hard. It takes a lot of hard work and dedicated and sometimes you do fall off track. I now understand.

Now time for my numbers:

Bust: 35 inches (total inches lost 2)
Waist: 32 inches (total inches lost 5)
Hips: 40 inches (total inches lost 1)

So after three months I have 8 inches. Not bad.

Weight: 141lbs

So in 3 months I have lost 21lbs. I am almost where I want to be. And because of that I am extending this journey to include August. I am hoping to lose the final 10lbs by the end of August.

Wish me luck!

Hey Fat Ass – Update with actual measurements

2009-06-22T21:38:00.000-04:00

So the battle of the bulge continues and I am losing miserably. My goal was to have lost 30lbs by August. It is now almost July and I have lost about 15lbs. That to me really sucks. I watch those weight loss shows on TV and I am always so critical of the people that lose small numbers in 6 months. They have to be doing something wrong. Well, I guess not. I eat alright; I exercise 4 to 5 times a week and no really significant results. I am going to keep going but I don’t think that I am going to drop the weight I want to by the time I set.

Here are my measurements.

Bust: 37 inches (no change)
Waist: 35 inches (down 2)
Hips: 40 inches (down 1)

So since my last update I have lost 3 inches.

That’s not very much at all.

From President Obama to his girls

2009-06-18T21:12:00.000-04:00

This is an excerpt of an essay that President Obama wrote for Parade Magazine. He may not be the best president ever. But I certainly do like him.
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As the father of two young girls who have shown such poise, humor, and patience in the unconventional life into which they have been thrust, I mark this Father's Day—our first in the White House—with a deep sense of gratitude. I observe this Father's Day not just as a father grateful to be present in my daughters' lives but also as a son who grew up without a father in my own life. My father left my family when I was 2 years old, and I knew him mainly from the letters he wrote and the stories my family told. And while I was lucky to have two wonderful grandparents who poured everything they had into helping my mother raise my sister and me, I still felt the weight of his absence throughout my childhood.

In many ways, I came to understand the importance of fatherhood through its absence—both in my life and in the lives of others. I came to understand that the hole a man leaves when he abandons his responsibility to his children is one that no government can fill. We can do everything possible to provide good jobs and good schools and safe streets for our kids, but it will never be enough to fully make up the difference. We need fathers to step up, to realize that their job does not end at conception; that what makes you a man is not the ability to have a child but the courage to raise one. We need to step out of our own heads and tune in. We need to turn off the television and start talking with our kids, and listening to them, and understanding what's going on in their lives. I know I have been an imperfect father. I know I have made mistakes. I have lost count of all the times, over the years, when the demands of work have taken me from the duties of fatherhood. There were many days out on the campaign trail when I felt like my family was a million miles away, and I knew I was missing moments of my daughters’ lives that I'd never get back. It is a loss I will never fully accept. On this Father's Day, I think back to the day I drove Michelle and a newborn Malia home from the hospital nearly 11 years ago—crawling along, miles under the speed limit, feeling the weight of my daughter's future resting in my hands. I think about the pledge I made to her that day: that I would give her what I never had—that if I could be anything in life, I would be a good father.

The Host

2009-06-10T21:35:00.000-04:00

***SPOILER***
***I am going to tell you how it ends. If you don’t want to know stop reading.***

I finished The Host and it wasn’t that bad. I was expecting it to be much worse that it was. The story wasn’t completely lovey dovey but it did have it moments. So Melanie / Wanda (as the soul is called) get to be friends. Melanie is still in love with Jared but Wanda falls in love with Ian. Since body and soul are two different people, they have different loves. Wanda finds Jared and Melanie’s brother Jamie living in a cave with 30 other humans. At first they imprison her and threaten to kill her. But eventually they let her into their colony and she gets some friends. She even goes on raids with them, getting them food and supplies without violence or anyone getting hurt. She begins to love them so much that she decides to leave them. That way Melanie gets her body back. But she doesn’t want to go back to another planet. Instead she asks the doctor to kill her when he takes her out of Melanie’s body because she was only ever truly happy on Earth and she doesn’t want to live anywhere else. The doctor agrees and begins to perform the removal. That is where Wanda’s story ends.

But not where the book ends. In the epilogue you meet Pet. She is a soul in a teenager’s body that has been on Earth for more than a quarter of her life. It turns out that Melanie, Jared, and Jamie kidnap Pet and remove her soul and implant Wanda into her body. Pet’s soul is sent to another planet and Wanda can live with them.

How ridiculous is that?! For the entire book these humans go on and on about how wrong it is that the souls are taking possession of people. That they should just leave, blah, blah, blah. But at the end they do the same thing. As long as it was them determining who get implanted in who, life is all peaches and sunshine. That’s bull!! But at least Stephanie Meyer got a happy ending.

Book Review: Jack's Wackiest, Wildest, and Weirdest Animals in the World

2009-06-09T21:59:00.000-04:00

My 2 year old is consumed with jungle animals right now. He’s been to the zoo several times and can’t get enough of animal shows. So when I picked up Jack Hanna’s newest book Jack's Wackiest, Wildest, and Weirdest Animals in the world I was hoping that it could encourage his love of animals even more. And I wasn’t disappointed.

My son loves it. He takes it with him everywhere. He has all the pages memorized and ‘reads’ it all the time. The pictures in this book are amazing. There are close ups on some of the most exotic creatures out there. I had never heard of a Biturong, Bongo and Echinda until I read this book. The book is also filled with facts and quirks about the animals. I think it is great because under the guise of a super fun book, you are actually learning about the animals.

My son and I both love this book.

The only negative comment that I have doesn’t even concern the book. It concerns the DVD that the book came with. I was hoping that the DVD with have some footage of the animals from the book. Instead it is a complication of outtakes and bloopers from Jack Hanna’s television show. It is entertaining for an adult but so much for a toddler.

Other than that, this book gets very high ratings.

Vegan Before 6

2009-06-09T21:58:00.000-04:00

In my never ending quest to lose weight I have decided to give the Vegan before 6 diet a try. I actually got the inspiration from the email that you sent to me. I couldn’t see myself becoming a complete vegetarian again but a partial one seems entirely possible.

The premise of the diet is you eat like a vegan up to 6pm (or dinnertime) and then at dinner you can eat whatever you want. It is supposed to take away from the deprivation that you feel on most diets and because you are eating so well for the majority of the day you don’t do too much damage with a late night binge. This is the theory anyway.

Since I go meatless once a week anyway (which means no meat, fish or eggs) I figure that this won’t be too hard to do seven days a week. But I am also not adhering as strictly as most vegans. Vegans abstain from meat and all meat products, which means no meat, fish, eggs, dairy, honey, processed products or non - organic. I am not going to go that far. I am still going to eat some meat bi – products such as diary. But I am going to try really hard to stay away from processed foods. If it comes in a box or pre-packaged them I am not going to eat it.

In my head this diet seems really easy and there should be no problems with me sticking to it. But I have a feeling that it is not going to be that simple. So wish me luck, I will let you know how it works out.

Chasing my tail

2009-06-07T22:05:00.000-04:00

Here’s a newsflash for you – I’m smart. Shocking I know! And not just smart, above average, articulate, well read kind of smart. I am the type of person that would make an outstanding upper management. I have what it takes to be fair, consistent and efficient. But I don’t apply myself. I am lazy, and have no drive. I have the capabilities but no follow through. I have been told this countless teachers, professors, my parents, and my boss.

There were so many times when I was given the opportunity to excel and I didn’t. I chose the safe route. I chose the route that I have traveled on since I started working. I play naïve, unassuming and quirky all so that I don’t have to take on more responsibility. I shun responsibility. I shun the higher title with the increased pay because I fear the ramifications of becoming more than I am. I am scared of being held accountable. I am scared of being in charge. I am scared of change.

But I don’t like where I am. I don’t want to stay here. I see so many people in this company that are in the same position. They have not moved from where they started and that terrifies me. I think that I am ready for a promotion. I think that I am ready to be challenged. I am going to approach my boss about this and I think that I am going to see if I can move from where I am.

Second chances

2009-05-27T21:47:00.000-04:00

I am giving Stephanie Meyer another chance.

I am very upfront in saying; I am not a Twilight fan. I think Jacob is an awesome character that should get his own book but the rest of them were wooden, monochromatic and boring. That being said I am curios to see if Meyer is able to carry a story outside of the vampire / love story genre so I picked up The Host.

I am about ½ way through the book and I have to say I am unimpressed. The story is slow and basic. It has a 2 part premise that is apparently supposed to be interwoven but Meyer seems to be having a rough time intertwining them.

The first part of the story is that these ‘life forms’ called souls come to earth and start to implant themselves into our bodies. There are a select few humans that haven’t gotten these ‘souls’ implanted in them yet and they are fighting against them. Now here’s the thing, these souls are trying to make earth a better place. Once they implanted themselves into the humans they made the murders, and pedophiles turn themselves in. They changed the humans from money hungry, emotional, aggressive beings into considerate and loving people. And the rebels don’t like that. They want things the way they were, which in my opinion is ridiculous. There is no more war, starvation, or genocide but they are against this. Now the hosts don’t change the people, they use their personalities, memories and character traits to keep them going. There is a strong emphasis that the unknown and change is a bad thing and one should always stick to what they know.

The second part of the story is that Melanie (one of the rebels) has been captured and she has a soul (Wanderer) implanted into her. However, she is strong enough to withstand the soul and instead of having the soul take over her, she uses the soul to achieve her goal. And what is her goal – finding her boyfriend Jared because they were meant to be together. Here Meyer falls back into the Twilight pattern. Jared is beautiful and Melanie has to be with him. Here’s what ticks me off about this – Jared is 26, Melanie is 17. They should not be romantically linked, even if they are the last two people on earth. Melanie is all about sleeping with him. She asks him on several occasions to sleep with her and he says not yet. (Very reminiscent of Twilight and Bella’s need to get Edward to sleep with her) And lastly all they have so far is a physical attraction. There is no emotional or mental connection. They don’t have any meaningful conversations; they are together because there is no one else for them to be with.

But I am not done yet. Maybe things will improve in the second half of the book.

Hey Fat Ass – Actual Measurements

2009-05-27T21:46:00.000-04:00

So I got me a tape measure so now I can keep track of the inches that I have lost rather than focusing on the scale. Especially since the scale and I have a love / hate relationship. I love to hate it.

So without further ado here are my measurements.

Bust: 37 inches (I some OK sized nungas I guess)
Waist: 37 inches (So far I’m a square)
Hips: 41 inches (I knew that one)

I am a square with a big butt who has a high risk for heart disease.

Grrreat!

2 years ago today

2009-05-22T09:58:00.000-04:00

My life changed completely.

Happy Birthday Baby!! I love you more than anything.

Meet Super Blue

2009-05-16T21:46:00.003-04:00

I'm playing with Nationz this year and I'm a Scabiosa!

Check out my costume.

Hey Fat Ass – I forget what number update this is

2009-05-13T21:34:00.000-04:00

I haven’t done one of these updates in a while. I’m still trying to lose weight but my weekly, turned bi – weekly, turned once in a blue moon updates were very disheartening. The numbers weren’t going down no matter how hard I worked. I was thisclose to giving up. But I haven’t. I am still eating 1200 to 1500 calories a day, and trying to burn at 300 calories a day. So by my math I should be losing about .5lb a week. It isn’t as much as I had hoped for but it’s better than nothing.

Here are my stats:

Weight: 150lbs (That’s down 5lbs, HOORAY!)
Bust: 34" (No change, which is OK because I really don’t want to lose the girls)
Waist: 31" (That’s down by one)
Hips: 40" (No change here either, I doubt that this will ever change though)

I don’t know if I will hit my target of being down to 120lbs by August. That would require me to start working out far harder than I do now. I am hoping for 130lbs by August but even that seems unattainable at this time. But fingers crossed and hopefully things work out.

Peer pressure at its finest

2009-05-09T07:56:00.002-04:00

Because all the cool kids are doing it and by that I mean you & you.

How brown am I??

(x)Your parents are strict
()You like bollywood music
(x)You've worn brown clothes
()Brown music is constantly playing in your house
(x)You've been to Gerrard street at least once
(x)You know who Shahrukh Khan is
(x)You know a bad word in a brown language
(x)You've used a bad word in a brown language against someone
(x)You've accidentally said a brown word to a white person
(x)You've been to a brown country at least once

Total so far: 8

(x)Own at least one brown dress
(x)You like brown food
()You've watched those Brown serials on tv
(x)You've sang a brown song in public before
(x)You've screamed a brown word before.
(x)You scare white people or you have turned white people brown
()You admire a brown actor/actress like CRAZY !
(x)Your mom & dad's friends are your aunty and uncle
()You have to call your cousins or brothers & sisters who older then you a brown word
(x)You LOVE teaching white kids brown words (they don’t have to be white kids, any kid I can find really)

Total so far: 15

(x)you told your parents you got 98%, and they ask you what happened to the other two percent.
(x)There is a sale on any item, you buy 100 of them.
()When mail is a reinvestment... postage stamps are 're
(x)You never buy bin bags, but use your saved grocery bags for it.
(x)You put your clothes in suitcases instead of wardrobes.
(x)Your mother has a minor disagreement with her sister and doesn't talk to her for ten years.(x)You call an older person you've never met before "uncle".
(x)Everyone is a family friend.
()You HAVE TO study law, medicine or engineering at university.
(x)You know no one who has studied music.

Total so far: 23

()Your best friend got married at the age of 17.
(x)You use chilli sauce instead of tomato ketchup.
(x)You fight over who pays the dinner bill .
(x) You're dad starts arguing with you or gets into a fight with you and tries to speak english so fast that he does not make any sense.
(x)You say you hate Brown films/songs but secretly watch/hear them
()you make a big deal if you see a girl and guy talking
(x)You at times say "open the light" instead of "turn the light on".
()You're walking out of customs with your trolley at the airport and u see all twenty-five members of your family who have come to pick you up.
()You go back to your parents' country and people treat you like a member of the royal family.
()Your parents call all your friends "Beta" (son/daughter)

Total: 28

()Your parents drink atleast 3 cups of tea a day
(x)Your parents compare you to all of you friends.
(x)At least once a week your mom says, "I want to go to India/Pakistan/Guyana/ Trinidad "
(x)You're parent's always say while shopping abroad, "It's cheaper in India/Pakistan/Guyana/Trinidad/China"
()Everytime you do something wrong your parents threaten to send you to India/Pakistan/SriLanka/Guyana/Trinidad
(x)When you're at parties 'we're leaving now' means we'll leave in about 30 min
(x)You are in time for parties/ your family parties last till 1 am
()5ft. 5 Inches, is a record height in your family
() One of Your parents’ are doctors, engineers, or hotel/shop owners.
(x)A "B" or lower is totally unacceptable on your report card.

Total: 34

Multiply your score by two to get your brownness percentage... 68!

Oh Mr. Postman, I have something for you

2009-04-30T22:16:00.000-04:00

Dear Lazy A*s Co – worker

I know that you have nothing to do. I hear you talking on the phone to your friends about everything and anything other than work. Not that I didn’t enjoy hearing the story about how your ding dong got smushed by the toilet lid at the gym yesterday. After sitting beside you for 4 months I have come to know that you have no shame and that you will discuss anything on your phone other than work. As long as you leave me the hell alone, I don’t care.

But no, you have decided that discussing your ding dong isn’t fun anymore, you have to start talking about me. You know I have a heater. The entire frickin office knows I have a heater. I have had a heater for the past five years and everyday for the past 4 months it’s been on. You complaining to everybody but me in front of me about how hot you are shows me the caliber of person you are.

If you have an issue with me, address it with me.

Kindest Regards,
Me

P.S. Maybe if you lost some weight, my heater wouldn’t bother you so much. I’m just saying.

Random Thought Tuesday – The random edition

2009-04-21T22:12:00.002-04:00

Meli's Rambling Randomness is back up.

So you can find my randomness over here: http://melidworld.com/?p=928

The daycare is losing brownie points part II

2009-04-20T21:34:00.001-04:00

Since the first post ended up being longer than I intended, here my other issue with the daycare.

Maks daycare is extremely strict with certain rules, no holding doors open for other people, always use your code, picture ID is required when picking up a child, etc and I am OK with that. If they have 17 billion rules in place to protect my child I will never complain, I want him to be in a safe environment when I am not there.

So I almost blew a gasket when they almost gave Maks away. Just about everyone at the daycare knows who I am. They may not know my name but they know that I am Maks mommy. They see me twice a day, 5 days a week. I expect them to recognize me. So I understand why they don’t ask for my ID when I pick up Maks. However, when I send someone that they don’t recognize, I expect them to go through all the necessary steps to make sure that that person has permission to get my son. When my dad, Beanz, even Millhouse picks up Maks, I have to send an email with a picture to the centre director letting her know that someone other than myself will be picking up Maks, that person makes sure that that they have their ID with them, and they expect to be given the third degree before they gets my son.

No one has any issue with this.

But when Millhouse went to get Maks last week that didn’t happen. There was a new teacher on playground duty. Millhouse had never met her and she had never met him but he recognized Maks’ class. He went up to her and pointed at Maks and said, I would like that one please. He didn’t ask for him by name or anything like that. He just pointed at some random child. At this point Maks had not seen him yet, so he didn’t come running at him yelling “daddy” he was just playing. She picked up him and handed him off. No ID, no questions, no nothing.

Good thing another teacher walked out at point. She went ballistic on the new teacher – if you don’t know the person, don’t give my child to them!!

I was not impressed when I heard this.

The daycare is losing brownie points

2009-04-20T21:33:00.001-04:00

Given that the daycare takes some kind of weird pleasure in making me feel like a crappy mom, (OK maybe they don’t have a vendetta for me, but sometimes it feels that way) they have been dropping the ball lately.

The first brownie point losing incident happened a little while ago. Maks changed rooms at the beginning of March and he and his teacher at the time were very upset about that. She I told her that we would come by to visit every once in awhile so that he didn’t forget her and she could get her hug. And I really meant that.

I think that she is an awesome teacher. She is one of those people that you can tell really loves her job and she really loves the kids. She is not someone that went to school for something else and when they couldn’t get a job with the degree that they had decided to go into ECE. She does this because she genuinely loves it. Hell, she even teaches on the weekend at her church. She can’t get enough of it. And she was amazing with Maks. He blossomed so much when he was with her. She had no problem meeting with me and getting my ideas and then integrating them into class. She was a great teacher and I was upset as Maks was when he had to leave.

So now back to my story. Every other day when I pick Maks up from class we stop by his old classroom. That way he can run in and say hello. Most days Ashley is there and he gives her a big hug and kiss. If she is not there then Sandy is there and he is equally as happy to see her. But when Sally is there we don’t stay very long. She and Maks not really connected so he doesn’t get very excited to see her. When we stopped by a couple weeks she was there and he gave her a hug. She tend asked for a kiss, which isn’t weird, the majority of his teachers ask for a hug and kiss. But she then asked for a “sexy” kiss, a kiss on the lips. I quickly told her no and that Maks does not kiss anyone like that. Then we left. The next morning I mentioned it to Maks new teacher, Carla, in the a.m. and Amy in the afternoon. Amy even went so far as to pull Sally aside and let her know exactly how inappropriate that was. Now I didn’t go to the centre director for the incident because I really do think that there might have been a miscommunication because Sally is a mom and I don’t think that she was being malicious or anything. I know that some parents don’t have an issue with kissing their kids on the lips but it is something that I don’t do.

Meli's Rambling Randomness is down but not out

2009-04-20T21:27:00.002-04:00

Apparently Melidworld.com has exceeded its allocated bandwidth and my fantabulous host shut it down. I owe him $45 and until I pay it, the site will be down. This is all fine and good but I wish he had told me.

So until all this is sorted out, I will be over here. When Meli's Rambling Randomness is back up I will move these posts over there. So in the meantime enjoy.

My Life Would Suck Without You

2009-04-13T20:58:00.002-04:00

On the way into work today, I actually listened to this song by Kelly Clarkson. Normally when it comes to her songs I bop my head for a bit and then change the station. I am not a big fan of hers but every once in awhile I will stop and give one of her songs a chance. Usually right after I do that I regret giving her song a chance I go back to flipping the station whenever her music comes on. And today was no exception. But instead of me thinking that her song was mindless dribble and changing the channel, this song infuriated me. Is this supposed to be empowering because from what I can deduce it is just a bunch of rubbish encouraging girls to take back whatever loser wants them because their life would suck without them.

The lyrics are below and I have highlighted my most “favourite parts” with my own killer commentary.

My Life Would Suck Without You
Guess this means you're sorry
You're standing at my door
Guess this means you take back

All you said before
Like how much you wanted
Anyone but me
Said you'd never come back
But here you are again

Cause we belong together now, yeah
Forever united here somehow, yeah
You got a piece of me
And honestly,
My life (my life) would suck (would suck) without you

(OK he said that he would rather be with everyone else in the free world than be with you. You are easily replaceable and he could do away with you and whatever feelings he had for you in a nano second. But because he wasn’t able to find that person he came back to you. AND YOU TOOK HIM BACK. Why?! For no other reason than he couldn’t find someone else to be with. He wasn’t choosing you, you were his last choice and he ran out of options. And this somehow makes him worthy or you time and love. PUHLEEZE!!!)

Maybe I was stupid for telling you goodbye
Maybe I was wrong for tryin' to pick a fight
I know that I've got issues
But you're pretty messed up too
Either way, I found out I'm nothing without you

(So you worked up the guts to tell him goodbye and what now you take it all back. You had genuine concerns but now you are trivializing them and making all the problems in the relationship your doing. And no you are nothing without him. You are you without him. He doesn’t make you and you don’t need him if he is making you unhappy.)

'Cause we belong together now, yeah
Forever united here somehow, yeah
You got a piece of me
And honestly, My life (my life) would suck (would suck) without you

Being with you
Is so disfunctional
I really shouldn't miss you
But I can’t let you go
Oh yeah

(LET HIM GO!!)

'Cause we belong together now, yeah
Forever united here somehow, yeah
You got a piece of me
And honestly,
My life (my life) would suck (would suck) without you

It’s such a stupid song!

A geeky girl’s version of teenage angst

2009-03-26T21:14:00.004-04:00

Beanz Monday night is consumed with teenage drama. I don’t really understand why these shows are considered ‘teenage’ dramas because I think that the amount of revenge, backstabbing, and sex that these shows have should be reserved for programmed aimed at people over the legal drinking age not those in the midst of puberty. But hey, that’s just me. I do have a confession to make though, on occasion I do enjoy some teenage drama but mine is considerably different from Beanz.

I spend my time with these guys. I ♥ them. And even though there story is over 100 years old I still get goose bumps when they hold hands.

And if they’re not on, I watch these guys.
Or if I feeling nostalgic I watch the predecessors of those guys, these guys.
I ♥ them too. They helped me make it through my formative years and yes there was drama. There was sex. There was violence and there was death. But the versions that were on these shows are not the same as are in the shows that are on now. I know that the world is gritty and mean but when I watch these shows I hope that somewhere there are teenagers that are watching them too and emulating to be like them.

And not so much like these ones.

Oh Mr. Postman, I have something for you

2009-03-25T21:05:00.000-04:00

Dear Mr. Premier

I am not sure what families, those living on or below the poverty line and those of us that have lost our jobs have done to anger you but I beseech you to please end your attack.

Tomorrow you are going to announce your plan to harmonize the sales tax in Ontario . You have bent to the whims of big business, again, and have decided to sacrifice us in order to satisfy them. The merger of the PST and the GST will increase our cost of living, pushing some of us so far below the poverty line that we will drown. We will not be able to afford to feed or clothe our children anymore. Instead of being participants in society we will become dependant on society.

The recession has delivered blows that we were not ready for. Some of us have lost or are losing our jobs. But it doesn’t end there. With the loss of our livelihood, we are also losing our homes, cars, security, self esteem, and self worth. Please stop pushing us further down because the more you do the harder it is for us to get back to where we were. The further you bury us the less our struggles are heard.

Please hear us because we don’t want to be here.

Kindest Regards,
Families; Single Parents; the poor, the suffering, the hungry, and the cold

Oh Mr. Postman, I have something for you

2009-03-21T21:59:00.002-04:00

Dear Guy who decided to buy up all the damn Cars bedding

I realize that the Cars bedding was on sale but why did you have to buy ALL?!?! Why did you have to have your wife and son come in and buy up more bedding after the lady in the store wouldn't sell you anymore?!?! Why were you so greedy to take all the bedding to the flea market so you could sell it for twice what you paid?!?!

I just wanted one. I wanted to get it from the store that was two blocks from my house. I didn't want to call around to a whole bunch of other stores nor did I want to drive 20 minutes away. But I did. I did it because I knew that my son loves Cars and he would be beyond happy to have that bedding. So I looked all over the place for it.

But because of you it was so much harder than it should have been.

You're a selfish jackass.

Regards,
Me

Oh Mr. Postman, I have something for you

2009-03-20T21:30:00.001-04:00

Dear Cubicle Mate

I know that you are a cold calling master. You are forever on the phone talking to potential customers trying to wrangle up customers. And this is great. With the economy the way it is we need more customers. So you keep on doing what you’re doing because you’re doing pretty well.

And you want to know how I know you’re doing so well, how I am privy to the information concerning your successes and failures. It’s simple really; every single phone call that you make every single day is on speaker phone. I can hear every ring tone, every hello, every conversation, every good bye and every click. And you know something – I don’t want to.

For the sake of everyone else around you – TAKE YOUR DAMN PHONE OFF SPEAKER! I don’t want to hear everything. I don’t need to hear everything. And for the sake of my sanity and your safety, I would start picking up the handset sooner rather than later.

Kindest Regards,
Me

I'm just not that into you

2009-03-16T21:18:00.002-04:00

Beanz and I went to see "He's Just Not That Into You' when it first came out. And I can fully admit that I went into it expecting the worst. I figured it would be some whiny chick flick that would have me going crazy half way through the movie. It wasn't. There were some laugh out loud funny parts that made up for the whiny parts. I didn't come out hating the movie. But I did come out hating Scarlett Johansen and not liking Drew Barrymore.

Here's my reason why.

It has nothing to do with looks, or physical appearance. It has to do with their characters in the movie. In the movie Scarlett Johansson ends up having an affair with a married man (I forget his name) and his marriage eventually falls apart. Now mistresses are something new, they have been around for a long time. So I am not ticked about this. What did get me angry was the guy told her from the beginning that he was married and she kept pursuing him. And to make matters worse when she told her friend (Drew Barrymore) about her infatuation with this married man, her friend encourages her to keep going after him. What stupidness is that?!?! If a friend of mine came up to me going on and on about some married man that she thought was her soul mate I would smack her.

What frickin message is this?!?! If you're single use whatever means necessary to find a man and keep him even if he is already taken. No one's happiness matters but your own. BS!! Maybe I'm old but way back when I was single if I met a guy that I really liked but he was in a committed, long term relationship I would leave him the hell alone. I wouldn't keep on him, no matter what the feelings are that you have, things will turn out badly.

Other than that, the movie was aiight.

To Do List – The Watchmen

2009-03-15T21:17:00.002-04:00

I saw this movie last night and I was not impressed.

It was the stupidest frickin’ movie I have ever seen and that’s saying a lot because in my younger days I watched a lot of Bollywood movies and those are pretty ridiculous in themselves. But after sitting through 2 hours and 42 minutes of the Watchmen I would rather watch one of those stupid comedy deals or a Bollywood movie than see that ridiculous movie again. It was a bunch of gruesome killing scenes and gratuitous sex. It was not enjoyable at all. For a comic book movie, there weren’t even any good fight scenes, it was just stupid!! I wasted my time and money.

If you want to see it for yourself you should, but be warned.

I highly recommend that you read the comic book / graphic novel. If you haven't already and you are going to see it, you should. There is a good synopsis of the novel on Wikipedia. The movie stays extremely true to the novel, so if you read the synopsis you should have a good understanding of the movie and enjoy it more. I didn't so I was confused as hell. Plus it is not a comic book movie. It is VERY dark. Some of the scenes are disturbing and there is full frontal nudity (male) in about half of the movie. The way that I that I can best describe it is - Sin City meets Kill Bill meets Pulp Fiction and you get the Watchmen. It wasn't what I was expecting it to be.

To Do – one more thing

2009-03-10T21:31:00.000-04:00

I forgot something on my last list – Monsters vs Aliens!!

I love cartoon movies and I can’t wait for this one to come out.

To Do List

2009-03-05T21:00:00.006-05:00

This list usually consists of a ton of books that I want to read. If you look at my wish list on Chapters or Amazon, I love to read and there are more than 50 books that I intend to read at some point in my life. So when I saw this list I was stunned because there isn’t a single book on it. Instead, my spring to do list is all about movies. I don’t know why but there are a ton of them coming out that I want to see. And these are the ones that I know the release dates for. There are more but I don’t know the release dates so I have listed them. So here you are folks this is what I intend to be doing on selected Sundays from now until September.

Watchmen

This comes out this weekend.

It’s a comic book movie, so what? It looks damn good. I don’t know much about these watchmen people and the movie could be completely different from the book but I am still going to see it.

The Fast & The Furious 4

This comes out sometime in April and I am going to go opening weekend, simply because I don’t know how long it will stay in theatres.

I can’t tell you how excited I am about this one though. Vin Diesel is back!! Michelle Rodriguez is back!! Jordana Brewster is back!! And so is Paul Walker. I am not to excited Paul Walker, he just bothers me. I think it has to do with him being in his 30’s and his girlfriend of 3 years just turning 19. That’s just yucky. But I am beyond excited to see the others. Tyrese and Bow Wow just didn’t have the bad boy vibe that Vin has and there is no bad ass chick that can how it down with Dom like Michelle Rodriguez can. I know it is a guy movie about fast cars and there are going to be random girls in bikinis possibly grinding on the cars but VIN IS BACK!! That makes it worth it.

X – Men Origins: Wolverine

This one is opening sometime this summer, I think it is in May but I am not sure I have to check.

Yes, I know another comic book movie. But it’s WOLVERINE!! He is by far the coolest X – man out there (well except for Storm, I really like her too). It is an entire movie dedicated to Wolverine a.k.a. Logan formerly James Howlett. It explains how he came to be and I can’t wait to see his history. As for Hugh Jackman, no one does Wolverine better than he does.

Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen

This comes out in July.

I was very skeptical about the first movie but it rocked. I can’t wait for the next one. It has to live up to the first one (which I saw twice) and make the story even better. I have very high expectations for this.

Dude, I better work

2009-03-03T21:09:00.000-05:00

The last two weeks at work have been insane and not in a good way. No, they did not take my advice and install a self serve ice cream machine nor did they allow us to work in yoga pants and sweat shirts.

Nope.

Instead there were mass lay offs and entire department was suspended for inappropriate us of company funds. So needless to say I am on pins and needles. The lay offs were not based on seniority or production it was based on who could be saved and who couldn’t. My boss saved me. By all intents and purposes, I shouldn’t be here. I am the most junior person in the department, I have the lowest level of education (yep, BA is the lowest level in my dept), and I don’t directly have contact with the clients. They liaise with me via my boss. So theoretically if I were to be let go the clients would not know and I doubt that they would really care. But my boss and his boss stepped in and put someone else up to be chopped. So I’m still here and she’s not.

Am I grateful? Damn right! Am I scared? Poopless!!

If this happens again, they won’t be able to save me. They will have to chose between them or me and no one in their right mind would sacrifice their job to save a co-worker. Sacrifice hours, maybe, but never their job.

So I’m scared. I’m hoping for the best but in my head I am expecting the worst.

Hey Fat Ass!! Update

2009-03-03T21:08:00.000-05:00

OK, I know I didn’t update last week and I have a really good reason for neglecting my weekly weigh loss update. I GAINED WEIGHT!! All the weight that I lost from being good for the past four weeks, I gained back. I can blame a lot of things for my weight gain – stress from work, bills, debt, lack of money, loneliness, or the fact that Cheetos were on sale for $1 this week and I bought 8 bags. But it comes down to me losing focus. I started to see the weight coming off very, very, very, very, very slowly and I was getting frustrated. On TV there are all these damn ads for things that make you lose 40 pounds in 8 days and here I am counting calories and getting excited about 2 pounds a week. Hell even on the Biggest Loser they lose 10lbs in an hour!!! I want to do that. Sweating my butt off on the glider (now the treadmill) almost everyday for hours on end and only losing 2lbs was disheartening.

I want more. So I did what I always do, instead of pushing myself t do that little bit more, to work that little bit harder - I gave up. I sat down opened several bags of Cheetos and went to town. I gave up on me and me knowing that I didn’t even have the willpower to work on me like I wanted do depressed me even more. So I ate more. I ate everything I could get my hands on. I ate bologna, I ate Cheetos, I had popcorn, frosted flakes, and that was just one morning. I more I looked at myself the more disgusted I became and when my fat fat pants got snug, I cried. BUT I stopped giving up.

So now I am back on the treadmill, working harder than I have ever worked to get something that I really want. Every night I pretend that Gillian is in my ear yelling because if I left this up to me I would give up again and go back to the Cheetos.

Oh Mr. Postman, I have something for you

2009-02-24T21:03:00.001-05:00

Dear Aunt Flo

Oh, how I despise thee! Let me count the ways. Before you showed up my life was so much simpler. But thanks to you every month for 4 to 7 days I experience pure agony.

1. You remind me that once again, my uterus is empty. Thanks for the reminder that I am still baby – less and that Maks will continue to be without a younger sibling for another month. Thanks ever so much for that.
2. You bring with you debilitating cramps that could cripple a wooly mammoth. I ache not only in my mid section but down my legs to my ankles. For five days I live solely on Midol while wrapped in hot water bottles. Thanks ever so much for that.
3. You turn my face into surface of Mars. I am covered in craters and bumps. Some so red and painful that it hurts to lay my face on the pillow. My face reverts to what it was during the height of puberty when no over the counter medication could help me and I wished that I could crawl into a cave. Thanks ever so much for that.
4. You screw around with my body temperature so I live in a confused state not knowing what to wear. One minute I am freezing with chattering teeth and losing feeling in my toes. To being so hot that I am sweating in the shower. Thanks ever so much for that.
5. You bring on cravings that I didn’t even experience during pregnancy. Because of you I want to eat anything and everything I can get my hands on. I have no self control during my ice cream binges but I do have plenty of guilt afterwards. Thanks ever so much for that.

I really can’t stand you but from what I have read in biology textbooks you are going to be around for the next 30 years or so. So I propose a truce. I stop cussing you and you take it easy on me.

Nah, that’s not going to work. I can see that you are going to keep being a bitch and I am going to have to put up with it. So bring it on, I got my Midol.

So may the best chick win. And in case you didn’t know that would be me.

Kind Regards,
Cranky

When did recess end?

2009-02-18T19:55:00.000-05:00

I’ve never considered myself an adult; in fact I think that I am pretty far from being an adult. But today reality slapped me in the face and made me realize that at some point in my life, I grew up and I got a whole lot riding on my shoulders.

The company that I’ve worked at for the past five years has announced lay offs today. I wasn’t one of the people let go but there were people in my department let go and the scary part is they are not sure if this will be the end of it. They let go of people that had more seniority than me but unfortunately had lost their clients for whatever reasons. People who have given their all to this company were let go. They worked long hours and weekends. They pretty much dedicated their life to this organization and as of the 27th they have to leave for good.

It’s scary to think that I don’t have any guarantees with this company even after all that I’ve put in. This time next month (when the next wave of cuts sweep through) I could be let go. If that happened what would happen to my family. Millhouse is in charge of the majority of the bills but I know that my contribution does help. Me not having a job could mean that we lose our house, that we lose our savings and that we lose our security. I never thought about these things until today. I never thought that this ‘economic crisis’ would effect me. I thought we were safe. I thought that the recession was just something that the news reported on and economists preached about. I never thought that it would hit me.

It did. And I am scared.

It is a harsh way to find out that you are an adult.

Hey Fat Ass – Weekly Update

2009-02-11T15:15:00.000-05:00

I was working on this post when I got side tracked with the customer service rep that was raised by wolves.

Anyhoo, lemme fill you in on my weight loss journey.

Once again I have no tape measure so I am going off how my clothes fit versus the actual measurements. Here are my details as determined by moi.

Weight: 155lbs (That’s down 2 lbs)
Bust: 34" (No change, which is OK because I really don’t want to lose the girls)
Waist: 32" (No change, my pants aren’t even looser)
Hips: 40" (No change here either)

I am happy with the weight loss; my goal is 2 pounds a week from now on. So in a month I would lose about 8 pounds. I think that is a healthy rate to lose some pounds. I am disappointed with the inches though. I am hoping that they will start to go down soon otherwise losing weight won’t make much of a difference.

Punk Ass Mofo brought the bitch out

2009-02-11T13:54:00.001-05:00

I am stating this upfront – I am going to tell you the real company name and give out the website because this guy ruined my day and this is my blog and I can vent about how much of a mofo I think he is here. If it gets back to him then guess what buddy – maybe you shouldn’t be so goddamn rude and piss off a mommy blogger!!

I admit that I tend to rant all the time about mostly insignificant things that irk me, the winter, something my hubby has done, something my hubby hasn’t done, daycare, etc. It’s not because I am a miserable person I just like things to be perfect. I am a perfectionist. But I am also a realist. I know that things aren’t going to be sunshine and lollipops all the time but as long as they are sometimes I’m OK.

But one thing that drives me up the wall, screaming from bell towers mad is bad customer service. I worked in customer service for almost 10 years on and off. So I know some stuff about customer service. I can proudly say that my paycheck as a cashier and retail clerk helped pay my tuition. I know what it’s like to have the flu, an exam or a break up affecting your people skills. But I also know how to push those things aside, slap on a smile and talk to customers. So that being said, when it comes to customer service, I expect it to be good. I don’t expect a long chat or anything. But I want to see a smile and get a thank you, have a nice day at the end – I don’t think that is too much to ask for.

So today when I tried to order something for my mom off the internet I never expected this to happen.

I placed the order for a will kit with http://www.canlaw.com/ because my mother has convinced herself that her time is coming (long story for another post). I ordered the kit in her name to be shipped to her address but I paid with my credit card. This is nothing new. I do it all the time. So I didn’t think that it would cause any problems. But it did. Below is the actual email correspondence between the two of us. (I have tried to bold it but for some reason it won’t work so I have just changed the font to blue. The areas in red were red when he sent me the email. I did not change that. Nor have I changed any of the text. And yes the 36 size font, bolded and in red was what he sent me.)

From: CanLaw canlaw@canlaw.com
To: maksmommy
Sent: Wednesday, February 11, 2009 11:35:54 AM
Subject: Re: Please ship me these legal kits by mail

REJECTED
------------------------------
Please advise why my order was rejected.

From: J Kirby Inwood jki@canlaw.com
To: maksmommy
Sent: Wednesday, February 11, 2009 11:50:44 AM
Subject:
You cannot use someone else;s credit cardWe will not accept ANY credit card order from youSend us a CERTIFIED cheque or MONEY ORDERNo other payment will be accepted.

At 07:56 AM 11/02/2009 -0800, you wrote:
But I was ordering it on my mom's behalf. She does not have a credit card.
________________________________
You cannot use someone else;s credit cardWe will not accept ANY credit card order from youSend us a CERTIFIED cheque or MONEY ORDERNo other payment will be accepted.
You got our answer. END of discussion

To me talking to a customer in this manner is unacceptable. I am trying to find a way to give you my money and you treat me as if I am no value to you. Brethren understand one thing – without your customers you are NOTHING! I may be wrong but I don’t think that I would be pissed off if he came back and said “unfortunately this is company policy and there are no alternatives.” 36 point, red, bolded font is rude and unnecessary.

The Grammy’s & babies brought the bitch out

2009-02-10T10:10:00.005-05:00

I would have written this post yesterday but I had an exam and I had to use whatever free time I had to cram as much into my brain that I possibly could. I don’t think that I got 90% or anything but I am hoping for a pass. So here are my rants about things that have been going on as of late.

The Grammy Awards

First things, first: MIA
I ♥ MIA. From the moment I heard Paper Planes, I loved MIA. There is something about her vocals and her lyrics; I just connected with her music. I would listen to Paper Planes over and over again, mush to the dismay of Millhouse & Beanz. But I just loved her. I was excited when she was nominated for some awards and even more excited with I found out that she was going to perform – ON HER DUE DATE! Any woman that is able to get up on stage and perform a song, and dance for any period of time on the day that her baby is due deserves some praise. Good on you MIA, you rocked it! I hope she has a quick and painless labour and a healthy & happy baby.

Next – Chris Brown & Rhianna

By now the allegations against Chris Brown are everywhere. Supposedly he assaulted Rhianna and it was so bad that she had to cancel her appearance on the awards show. Given that all we are hearing are snippets of the story at this point I am hoping whatever the truth is that they both get the help that they need. If he is guilty I hope he is prosecuted to the full extent of the law and that they both seek counseling. Domestic violence is a bad thing and it takes a lot to deal with it and even more to walk away from it. I wish them both luck.

Now here’s my issue – I have been on x amount of blogs and fan sites reading up on this and I am appalled by some of the comments that I see. People are justifying him hitting her because she may have ‘provoked’ it, or because she was controlling or because she may have been cheating. I have read comments that claim that because he is such a nice guy that she must have done something to deserve getting hit.

Girls, women, chicks, whatever you want to be called get your head out of your ass. NO MAN HAS THE RIGHT TO ASSAULT A FEMALE! If he did hit her, nothing out there provides sufficient justification for him hitting her. Domestic violence is real; it affects millions of people every single day. Just because he is a celebrity does not make it right.

Nadya Suleman

I have some serious issues with this lady. For those of you that don’t know who this is, she is the woman that gave birth to octuplets. She has 6 other kids under the age of 8 and is a single mother who lives in a three bedroom home with her parents. Now if these kids were conceived naturally I would not be upset about her situation, I would actually feel really bad for her. But these kids were conceived on purpose through IVF.

This lady has said that because she was an only child that she always wanted a large family and that she was not happy until she started to have children. Apparently she suffered from depression up until she started having children. And having the kids made her so happy that she just wanted to keep having kids. Because of this she now has 14 kids under the age of 8.

I feel sorry for these kids. The mom looks like she has some sort of Angelina Jolie complex in which she wants to have a boatload of kids. But unlike Angelina Jolie she doesn’t have the means to support them. Angelina Jolie adopted 3 of her six kids, something that takes quite a bit of capital to do. She also has a nanny for each child, maids, cooks, and pediatricians on call. This mom does not. She is putting a strain on her parents and herself. I have one child and there are times when money is tight. Money is one of the most pressing factors in deciding whether or not we are going to have another child. Having 14 kids with no job and relying on your parents and social assistance is irresponsible. If you want a large family you work towards having the funds to support them. If you are unable to support yourself then by default you are unable to support a child. And no she cannot support herself because she has been on disability since 1999.

I really hope that the next time she goes in for some sort of fertility treatment and I bet she will try again, that the doctors secretly tie her tubes. She’s needs counseling not more kids.

Oh Mr. Postman, I have something for you

2009-02-06T15:51:00.000-05:00

Dearest Bed

Oh how I love thee.

I know that since Maks came along I have been neglecting you. We haven’t been spending as much time together as we used to. But please don’t take it personally. Our time apart is killing me too. I miss your soft caress, your just right mushiness pillows and warm down filled comforters.

I wish that we could be together like we were once again. I miss our lazy Saturday mornings where you kept me warm as I slept in. Or those late weekday evenings where you let me relax and read a book before falling asleep.

It will happen soon my love. I am hoping and praying that we will be together once again, soon.

Love you lots,
Meli

Oh Mr. Postman, I have something for you

2009-02-05T16:04:00.002-05:00

Dear Computer Geek that has decided to make my life a living hell

I realize that you are on a huge power trip right now and that you are loving the fact that you get to dictate all my computer usage but if you do not cease and desist soon I am going to shove a donut hole up your nose.

Changing my report settings so that you make all my established settings null and void is unprofessional and really sucks. And what sucks even more is not telling me that you’ve invalidated all my reports until 3 days after you’ve done it.

Unlike you I have customers that rely on me and because of your need to readjust everything to fit into your defined criteria you are screwing me over.

Also, I confess that I play on the internet. I read blogs and occasionally shop but that does not make me a bad worker. When I am having a crappy day or need a couple minutes to get my mind off of what I am doing, browsing the internet helps. Stop spending all your time tracking my internet usage and blocking Yahoo! All that does is anger me.

Lighten up, have a coffee and maybe your gas tank won’t have any sugar in it this afternoon.

Kindest Regards,

The angry b*tch in cubicle three

I can’t believe I missed the funeral

2009-02-04T10:49:00.001-05:00

I just read an article in which Lil Wayne proclaims himself to be the ‘best rapper alive’ and I was compelled to write this post. There was this drive in me that woke up and I had to speak on this.

I am beyond upset at this point, I am distraught and beside myself. I want to just wallow in the grief. Apparently Rev. Run, Ice Cube and Ice T are dead, so are KRS One, Scarface and Nas. Apparently, all the remaining members of Wu – Tang have gone on to join ODB in the crack party in the sky. (Even though I could have sworn that I saw Riza in a movie with Denzel Washington not too long ago but I was probably wrong) And nobody told me that Andre 3000, Big Boi and Common all passed on. Even the West coast rappers are gone, no more Snoop or Dre.

When did this all happen?? Why was there nothing written about it in the papers or on the fan sites. How come these people still put out albums if they were gone? And they have to be gone because Lil Wayne is now the best rapper alive.

Right?

Wrong.

Lil Wayne is the best ‘commercial’ rapper alive. I consider him amongst entertainers like 50 cent, Kanye West, and Eminem. He is experiencing some success because he is putting out songs with catchy hooks that the radio stations like to play and the suburban teenagers like to slum to. He isn’t a rapper, he is a walking marketing scheme. To call himself the greatest rapper alive is a sham. His music will not transcend generations like real rappers do. He appeals to the now but his songs have no longevity. It can be guaranteed that come 2010, Lil Wayne will have no Grammy nominations and he would have faded into obscurity or at least jail.

KRS One said it best. This is what makes a rapper great.

Yo I'm strictly about skills and dope lyrical coastinRelying on talent, not marketing and promotionStop wastin your money on marketing schemesand pretty packages pushin dreams to the beamsA dope MC is a dope MCWith or witout a record deal, all can see

Book Review - Dreamhouse Kings #1: House of Dark Shadows

2009-02-03T15:11:00.000-05:00

House of Dark Shadows chronicles the events that occur when 15 year old Xander and his family move from fast paced L.A. to a small town.

I was very apprehensive about whether or not I would enjoy a book that is recommended for pre-teens and teens. The House of Dark Shadows is the story of a 15 year old boy’s struggle to readjust to his family’s move to a new place. The story of a teenager being transplanted in a new environment is nothing new. Kids have been dealing with change and the adaptation to change for generations. I was expecting a wishy washy tale of a teenager’s journey into a new life and an eventual happy ending.

But once I started reading the book I realized it was nothing like what I expected and all my concerns evaporated. Although the language is geared towards younger audiences this book grabs you from the first page and holds on to you until the end. With its vivid imagery and its fast paced story teenagers and adults alike can enjoy a tale filled with adventure, mystery and loss. Regardless of age, the characters are easy to relate to and the story never lags. I read the entire book within a matter of hours, the ending had me spellbound and I am now itching to start the next book in the series.

Hey, fat ass!!

2009-02-02T12:41:00.002-05:00

*Disclaimer - This post is probably not going to make much sense. Maks has / had pink eye and I am doped up on Tylenol and Day quil. I am not sur eif they can be taken together but I have and the room hasn’t started spinning yet so that is a good thing. I am pretty sure that this post will contain run on sentences, spelling errors, comma splices, references to puke and banana bread. I apologize in advance for whatever direction this ends up in.*

BTW - the title refers to me. So don't think I was being mean to anyone.

I am not sure if I elaborated on what I have decided to do to myself. I have decided to lose 50lbs by the end of July. Since I watch just about every weight loss show out there I know that losing about 50lbs in seven months is very do-able. I am not going to go on a Biggest Loser eight hour a day workout regime but I am going to step it up a bit. I use the glider about four times a week and I would like to get a treadmill and Jillian's workout DVD. I am hoping that will help me tone up and get rid of the flab. The next part is going to be the hard part - FOOD!!

I love food and giving up the stuff that I love is going to be hard. I love sugar and all things sweet. It's so bad with me that I could be full and I see a sweet treat and still eat it. I have to work on that. I have to have more self control when it comes to food.

I figure that every Monday I will update my stats and hopefully as time goes down they will start to change. Since I don't have a measuring tape I am going to improvise on my measurements.

Weight: 157lbs (egad!!!!)
Bust: 34" (I came up with that because my bra is a 34C)
Waist: 32" (I wear a size 12 pant)
Hips: 40" (Because my ass can rival JLo!!)

Wish me luck, I am going to need it.

Welcome to crazy land, I am your leader

2009-01-28T12:53:00.000-05:00

Just an FYI –

I am not going to dedicate this blog to the postman series. But I have just gotten into the habit of making my rants into letters as of late. Since I have a very short attention span and virtually no short term memory, these letters make it easier for me to rant without forgetting what the heck I was ranting about in the first place. It limits my rambling and allows me to actually categorize my randomness, which is a miracle onto itself. I do return to my “normal” format when I’m not ranting. But since I have been a miserable bitch as of late, there have been more letters that usual.

Oh Mr. Postman, I have something for you

2009-01-28T12:52:00.000-05:00

Dear Slacker Maintenance Guys

That white stuff that is falling from the sky is called snow. The slippery clear stuff that lines the walkways in the winter is called ice. When the snow falls on the ice, it makes it very difficult to see.

It would be greatly appreciated if you could put salt, or sand or something on the walkways so that when I am coming in and out with my lunch bag, purse, baby bag and my travel mug of tea I don’t fall on my butt making a big mess and bruising my tailbone in the process.

I understand that as a means of saving costs you are not being as liberal with the de-icer as you have been in previous years but there is a difference between reducing and not using any at all.

Also, I did get your email about wearing appropriate footwear and how that would prevent mishaps on the snow and ice and I can assure you that my soccer cleat studded flat boots are appropriate. However, they are not miracle workers that will stop me from falling if the walkway has a foot of snow sitting on top of a thick sheet of ice.

Your time on this matter is greatly appreciated.

Kind Regards,
Bruised Butt

P.S. I drive a car. So does just about everyone else here. It would be great if you would clear the parking lot every once in a while. It would be awesome if more than three cars could park in a lot designed to comfortably fit 15. Especially since it means that I have to skate across the ice towards the door while praying that a car doesn’t lose control and hit me. Or that I slip under a car that is perched precariously on a snow bank.

Oh Mr. Postman, I have something for you

2009-01-27T15:30:00.001-05:00

Dear My Slacker Self

GET YOUR ASS BACK TO WORK!!!

Your boss just busted you for not having a report done that he asked you to have done three weeks ago.

GET OFF THE INTERNET AND PAY ATTENTION.

You need the paycheck.

Kind Regards,
Your sensible self

Oh Mr. Postman, I have something for you

2009-01-27T15:29:00.000-05:00

Dear Starer at the photocopy machine

I am having an A and B conversation, C your way out of it. What I am discussing with my friend is none of your business. Stop staring at us as we talk hoping to interject and receive some sort of invitation to join us. This is none of your business.

I don’t appreciate you looking over here with some sort of conversation longing in your eyes. We are all here to work. No one wants to be here. The only reason we stay is for the paycheck. The small pleasures that we get from conversing with someone that we could get along with should not be ruined by your whining or attempt at butting it.

Kind Regards,
Chatty

Let’s get political

2009-01-22T14:26:00.002-05:00

I realize that I am Canadian but as a global citizen I am watching President Obama’s every move. I am hoping that he adheres to the promises that he made when he was running for president. I like a lot of other people are hoping that he will be able to deliver all the things that he promised. I want to see him succeed.

And so far he hasn’t let me down.

This is what he said:

“To the Muslim world, we seek a new way forward, based on mutual interest and mutual respect. To those leaders around the globe who seek to sow conflict, or blame their society's ills on the West — know that your people will judge you on what you can build, not what you destroy. To those who cling to power through corruption and deceit and the silencing of dissent, know that you are on the wrong side of history; but that we will extend a hand if you are willing to unclench your fist.”

This is what he did:

“On Wednesday, on his first day in office, Obama telephoned Palestinian leader Mahmud Abbas, Egyptian President Hosni Mubarak, Israeli Prime Minister Ehud Olmert and King Abdullah II of Jordan.

Obama "used this opportunity on his first day in office to communicate his commitment to active engagement in pursuit of Arab-Israeli peace from the beginning of his term," his spokesman Robert Gibbs said in a statement.”

Five years here and all I have to show for it is this lousy paycheck!!

2009-01-22T12:37:00.001-05:00

On February 1st it will be my 5 year anniversary with this company. Unfortunately due to cost cuts we aren’t going to celebrate it. All internal spending has been suspended unless it is absolutely necessary. So I get nada.

Now I know that I should be grateful cause I still have a job and stuff but I am bit disappointed. I mean I don’t get to pick out a gift from the 5 year catalogue. They are not expensive or fancy or anything. You have your choice of a glow in the dark globe (Beanz wants that one. She has a fixation on globes even though she uses google when she is looking up countries) or a Lego ship (its 3500 pieces of Lego fun) or even an agenda with my name embossed in it. I get nothing, not even a cake.

::sigh::

Way to make me feel appreciated.

Extending our hand in peace

2009-01-20T12:46:00.001-05:00

Today's the day. He's offically the president of the United States of America. Let's see what this means.

Best of luck Barack. You got a lot of work ahead of you.

Standing on the top of the $$$ tree and jumping as hard as I can

2009-01-19T12:37:00.000-05:00

This is what happened last week. After he dust settled my car needed an oxygen doohickey and it cost around $300. It wasn’t as bad as the first estimate of close to $800 but it was still pretty expensive. But I figured it was a one time deal and my car would go back to running like normal.

Wrong!!!

This morning on the ride in to work, the damn light went on again. So I called Millhouse & I told him what was going on. It turns out that the car has to go back to the mechanic because nobody knows what’s wrong with it. The only thing that is guaranteed is that there is going to be more money involved.

Still dreaming

2009-01-19T03:07:00.000-05:00

On the eve of the inaugration of Barack Obama, we are still waiting for equality.

In 1963 Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. eloquently and pointedly expressed the need for equality and today the message is still the same.

The words of Dr. King:

I HAVE A DREAM

I am happy to join with you today in what will go down in history as the greatest demonstration for freedom in the history of our nation. [Applause]
Five score years ago, a great American, in whose symbolic shadow we stand signed the Emancipation Proclamation. This momentous decree came as a great beacon light of hope to millions of Negro slaves who had been seared in the flames of withering injustice. It came as a joyous daybreak to end the long night of captivity.
But one hundred years later, we must face the tragic fact that the Negro is still not free. One hundred years later, the life of the Negro is still sadly crippled by the manacles of segregation and the chains of discrimination. One hundred years later, the Negro lives on a lonely island of poverty in the midst of a vast ocean of material prosperity. One hundred years later, the Negro is still languishing in the corners of American society and finds himself an exile in his own land. So we have come here today to dramatize an appalling condition.
In a sense we have come to our nation's capital to cash a check. When the architects of our republic wrote the magnificent words of the Constitution and the declaration of Independence, they were signing a promissory note to which every American was to fall heir. This note was a promise that all men would be guaranteed the inalienable rights of life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
It is obvious today that America has defaulted on this promissory note insofar as her citizens of color are concerned. Instead of honoring this sacred obligation, America has given the Negro people a bad check which has come back marked "insufficient funds." But we refuse to believe that the bank of justice is bankrupt. We refuse to believe that there are insufficient funds in the great vaults of opportunity of this nation. So we have come to cash this check -- a check that will give us upon demand the riches of freedom and the security of justice. We have also come to this hallowed spot to remind America of the fierce urgency of now. This is no time to engage in the luxury of cooling off or to take the tranquilizing drug of gradualism. Now is the time to rise from the dark and desolate valley of segregation to the sunlit path of racial justice. Now is the time to open the doors of opportunity to all of God's children. Now is the time to lift our nation from the quicksands of racial injustice to the solid rock of brotherhood.
It would be fatal for the nation to overlook the urgency of the moment and to underestimate the determination of the Negro. This sweltering summer of the Negro's legitimate discontent will not pass until there is an invigorating autumn of freedom and equality. Nineteen sixty-three is not an end, but a beginning. Those who hope that the Negro needed to blow off steam and will now be content will have a rude awakening if the nation returns to business as usual. There will be neither rest nor tranquility in America until the Negro is granted his citizenship rights. The whirlwinds of revolt will continue to shake the foundations of our nation until the bright day of justice emerges.
But there is something that I must say to my people who stand on the warm threshold which leads into the palace of justice. In the process of gaining our rightful place we must not be guilty of wrongful deeds. Let us not seek to satisfy our thirst for freedom by drinking from the cup of bitterness and hatred.
We must forever conduct our struggle on the high plane of dignity and discipline. We must not allow our creative protest to degenerate into physical violence. Again and again we must rise to the majestic heights of meeting physical force with soul force. The marvelous new militancy which has engulfed the Negro community must not lead us to distrust of all white people, for many of our white brothers, as evidenced by their presence here today, have come to realize that their destiny is tied up with our destiny and their freedom is inextricably bound to our freedom. We cannot walk alone.
And as we walk, we must make the pledge that we shall march ahead. We cannot turn back. There are those who are asking the devotees of civil rights, "When will you be satisfied?" We can never be satisfied as long as our bodies, heavy with the fatigue of travel, cannot gain lodging in the motels of the highways and the hotels of the cities. We cannot be satisfied as long as the Negro's basic mobility is from a smaller ghetto to a larger one. We can never be satisfied as long as a Negro in Mississippi cannot vote and a Negro in New York believes he has nothing for which to vote. No, no, we are not satisfied, and we will not be satisfied until justice rolls down like waters and righteousness like a mighty stream.
I am not unmindful that some of you have come here out of great trials and tribulations. Some of you have come fresh from narrow cells. Some of you have come from areas where your quest for freedom left you battered by the storms of persecution and staggered by the winds of police brutality. You have been the veterans of creative suffering. Continue to work with the faith that unearned suffering is redemptive.
Go back to Mississippi, go back to Alabama, go back to Georgia, go back to Louisiana, go back to the slums and ghettos of our northern cities, knowing that somehow this situation can and will be changed. Let us not wallow in the valley of despair.
I say to you today, my friends, that in spite of the difficulties and frustrations of the moment, I still have a dream. It is a dream deeply rooted in the American dream.
I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: "We hold these truths to be self-evident: that all men are created equal."
I have a dream that one day on the red hills of Georgia the sons of former slaves and the sons of former slave owners will be able to sit down together at a table of brotherhood.
I have a dream that one day even the state of Mississippi, a desert state, sweltering with the heat of injustice and oppression, will be transformed into an oasis of freedom and justice.
I have a dream that my four children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.
I have a dream today.
I have a dream that one day the state of Alabama, whose governor's lips are presently dripping with the words of interposition and nullification, will be transformed into a situation where little black boys and black girls will be able to join hands with little white boys and white girls and walk together as sisters and brothers.
I have a dream today.
I have a dream that one day every valley shall be exalted, every hill and mountain shall be made low, the rough places will be made plain, and the crooked places will be made straight, and the glory of the Lord shall be revealed, and all flesh shall see it together.
This is our hope. This is the faith with which I return to the South. With this faith we will be able to hew out of the mountain of despair a stone of hope. With this faith we will be able to transform the jangling discords of our nation into a beautiful symphony of brotherhood. With this faith we will be able to work together, to pray together, to struggle together, to go to jail together, to stand up for freedom together, knowing that we will be free one day.
This will be the day when all of God's children will be able to sing with a new meaning, "My country, 'tis of thee, sweet land of liberty, of thee I sing. Land where my fathers died, land of the pilgrim's pride, from every mountainside, let freedom ring."
And if America is to be a great nation this must become true. So let freedom ring from the prodigious hilltops of New Hampshire. Let freedom ring from the mighty mountains of New York. Let freedom ring from the heightening Alleghenies of Pennsylvania!
Let freedom ring from the snowcapped Rockies of Colorado!
Let freedom ring from the curvaceous peaks of California!
But not only that; let freedom ring from Stone Mountain of Georgia!
Let freedom ring from Lookout Mountain of Tennessee!
Let freedom ring from every hill and every molehill of Mississippi. From every mountainside, let freedom ring.
When we let freedom ring, when we let it ring from every village and every hamlet, from every state and every city, we will be able to speed up that day when all of God's children, black men and white men, Jews and Gentiles, Protestants and Catholics, will be able to join hands and sing in the words of the old Negro spiritual, "Free at last! free at last! thank God Almighty, we are free at last!"

Notorious

2009-01-16T10:42:00.000-05:00

Notorious, the movie about the life of Christopher Wallace a.k.a. the Notorious B.I.G. is released in theatres today. Both Millhouse & Beanz have asked on separate occasions if I am going to go see it. Now it may seem strange that someone so obsessed with domesticity would be interested in seeing a movie about a gangsta rapper but if you really know me you know why they are asking.

I am a hip hop head. I heard Slick Rick ‘She swallowed it’ when I was 8 and I was hooked on rap from then on. But it was Biggie Small’s that made me into the fanatic that I am today. I first heard his vocals on “Dolly” with Supa Cat and I was impressed. There was still the immaturity in his voice and his flow was not up to par as yet, but the potential was there. Then he released his first album on Bad Boy – Ready To Die. Ready to Die is one of the greatest rap albums to ever be released. I literally listened to that cassette until the tape popped. I would play it over and over again. Biggie Smalls had come into his own with that album and I was a fan for life. He had the flow, he had the rhymes and he could carry a label. At his age with his lack of experience he was running the show.

And then he was killed.

I remember where I was when I found out Biggie Smalls had been killed. I was at Club KaBoom with Sabina, Veeral, Mike & Mike. I was wearing a white lace top with black pants. I stopped moving when the DJ announced that Biggie Smalls had been shot and was now gone. The greatest rapper of all time, killed before he could put out another full length album. It was a tragedy in so many ways – a mother lost her son, a daughter lost her father, a wife lost her husband and one of hip hop’s finest was gone. The industry would never be the same again.

And it wasn’t.

When my son was born on May 22nd, I came home and I listened to Ready To Die. I don’t think it made sense to many other people why I did that but it did to me. My son was born 35 years and one day after Biggie Smalls. He listened to Biggie Smalls almost ever day while he was in the womb and I felt that he should hear it one more time. I will play Ready To Die for him when he is older and if he wants to listen to it. But for now I have put away the CD.

I think that Big Poppa is one of the greatest hip hop artists of all times and because of that I will never watch the movie on his life. I have a vision of what he was like based on his music and I don’t want to taint that with a glamorized Hollywood portrait of his life. To all those going to see the movie, enjoy it. Sell out the theatres, Biggie would have liked that.

RIP Christopher George Latore Wallace
May 21st, 1972 – March 9th, 1997

Shaking the money tree with all my might!!

2009-01-15T11:11:00.001-05:00

This post was supposed to be about Notorious, the movie about the life of Christopher Wallace a.k.a. the Notorious B.I.G. But in the middle of my writing it, something came up. I might finish the post on Biggie Smalls later, I am not sure yet.

I have been asking for a treadmill for awhile now but since no one was taking me seriously (I can’t imagine why not. I mean all my other exercise equipment is collecting dust in the basement. But a treadmill would be different, it really would) I saved up to buy my own. I saved enough to go this weekend and get a semi decent treadmill and 2 two pond dumbbells. I was so excited. (Yes, I know I’m a nerd. Keep your comments to yourself.)

Then my car revolted. Yesterday the check engine light came on and because we are in the middle of a deep freeze, I had Millhouse take it in to the mechanic first thing this morning. He and I were both hoping that it was just acting weird because of the cold – no such luck. It turns out it needs a new oxygen filter and a catalytic converter. The catalytic converter alone will cost around $600. Once you factor in the cost of the oxygen filter and any other doohickey that the car may need we are looking at close to $800. So it is good bye treadmill, hello maxed out credit card.

Channeling Oprah

2009-01-13T12:49:00.001-05:00

Thus far, 2009 hasn’t been the greatest. Since December of last year to now my parents + Millhouse have attended 5 funerals. There were more but we were unable to attend. So needless to say there has been a lot of sadness in the last little while.

But before you go clicking over to Twitter or something, this is not going to be a sappy, sad post. I’m not good with those. I tear up reading other people’s sad posts; I think I would be too emotional to do one of my own.

So this is going to be a feel good post.

As I was sitting here thinking about all the unhappiness that been going on in the lives of those close to me in the last little while I stumbled on Happy Meals & Happy Hour. She had a post on Kiva. And it struck a cord with me. The idea of helping has always appealed to me. I give to the food bank and toy drives as often as I can but a lot of times I feel like that is not enough. So when I saw that I could help out in another way I was interested. Through Kiva you are directly helping 3rd, and 4th world entrepreneurs. You make a donation or ‘loan’ the person in Bolivia or Ghana or wherever you chose uses that money to make a profit and then pays you back. You are not just making a donation you are helping people to survive. You are treating them as a business of value not a charity. Also, this is not like the World Bank or IMF where the loans have to be paid back at any costs within a specified period of time. The loans are paid back when the entrepreneur is financially stable enough to pay it back. You are giving them time to have their business become a success.

I have signed up for it and donated $25. I am not telling you to sign up for it but maybe in 2009 you should think about paying it forward. It doesn’t take much and it does make you feel good inside.

Bye Bye Basoomas

2009-01-12T15:09:00.001-05:00

I have started on a journey that I am hoping will help me lose weight. I think I have figured out a way for me to shed some pounds without giving up anything. I am still going to eat all the things I love to eat, but I am only going to eat half of what I would normally eat. This sounds drastic but it really isn’t. I have to be honest – I eat too much. This way I am still eating, I am just going to eat less. As for exercise, I am going to put the glider in front of the TV and try to stay on for an hour as I watch whatever mindless reality TV show that I have gotten addicted to or as I watch Food Network.

Now all these changes are positive. I am working towards healthier, happier me. I should be excited, right? I’m not though. I am a little sad. When I lose the weight, I am going to lose something else with it.

My nunga nungas are going to go the way of the Dodo when I get back down to my ideal weight. I have grown quite attached to my ‘girls’. I have never really had ‘girls’ when I was thinner so this is a part of my body that I actually like. I flaunt my new found boobies as often as my office dress code will allow. It makes me a little sad to think that they are going to go.

Now I know that this post may attract some internet perverts and I address you losers directly here - move on this isn't that kind of blog.

Oh Mr. Postman I have something for you

2009-01-09T16:09:00.000-05:00

Dear Less than Tactful Co – Worker

Thanks ever so much for stopping by my desk and pointing out that I haven’t eaten my donut from this morning. Your witty banter pointing out that obviously I am on some sort of weird diet or I am wasting the company’s money by taking the donut and not eating it is grating on my nerves. I am sure that you would be more than willing to help me eat my donut but there is a reason why I haven’t eaten it yet. No, I am not on a diet. No, I am not wasting the company’s money. If I was so inclined to tell you, if it was any of your business – I am saving the donut for the ride home. There is a little boy that I am going to pick up in an hour who will enjoy the donut far more than I ever would. But since I am not sure if your pea rain can handle such an idea, I will keep it to myself. Please continue walking to the printer and get out of my sight.

Kind Regards,
I would rather hang upside down by my toenails that listen to you anymore
******************************
Dear Less than Tactful Co – Worker Part II

Thanks ever so much for stopping by my desk and pointing out that my hair looks so much better when I wear it down, I look younger and more youthful when it’s down, and I should really make more of an effort to wear my hair down. So are you telling me that because my elastic broke I look better? Or are you saying that in general I look like an old hag? Thanks, thanks ever so much for that. Please go back to your cubicle now; I really don’t want to hear your opinions about my hair anymore. And no my son’s shaggy hair does not make him look like a girl. Thanks for that observation though.

Kind Regards,
I am going to throw my monitor at you soon

Morons should have their email privileges revoked

2009-01-08T12:13:00.001-05:00

In the last 20 minutes, I have gotten 4 emails from the same person all about the same thing. The subjects look something like this:

1st email - Pricing for 2009
2nd email – Pricing for 2009 *revised*
3rd email – Pricing for 2009 *revised part 2*
4th email – Pricing for 2009 *revised part 3*

The 4th email is a complete 180 from the first email. From what I can gather the moron just sent off some rubbish in the first email and then sent three follow up emails trying to fix the stupidness they wrote down the first time. I am patiently waiting for the next email: Pricing 2009 *no really this is the last one*.

What a moron.

I clean up real nice

2009-01-06T13:04:00.000-05:00

Most of the time I rock grungy sweat pant and stained t-shirts. It’s not cause I am dirty it’s because the elements around me result in me getting dirty. I would rather get a big hug with ketchupy hands than rush to wash up the hands and lose the hug. That is just the way that I am. I apply the same type of reasoning to my work clothes.

The majority of my work clothes are things that I have borrowed from my mom or maternity outfits that I have reworked into return to work outfits. Neither fits me the way that my pre-pregnancy clothes fit. My weight gain and lack of ambition to try and look somewhat presentable results in me looking like a frumpy mess most of the time.

I guess Millhouse & Beanz got tired of my questionable fashion sense and for Christmas they went out and got me clothes. Well, Beanz picked them out Millhouse paid. It worked out well. I now how three work outfits and one pair of new jeans.

Unfortunately the jeans don’t fit. They are low rise and with my butt, they are too loose in the back and too tight in the front. I look like a lopsided camel. But all the work clothes fit. I am wearing one of the new work outfits today, grey pants and a black mock neck shirt. They both well and are very fashionable. I feel ~ good. No correction, I feel pretty. It’s been awhile since I felt pretty, it feels nice.

:)

Oh Mr. Postman, I have something for you

2009-01-02T10:18:00.000-05:00

Dear Workaholic Dictator

You may not realize but the last two weeks in December are ‘holidays’. There is Christmas, Hanukah, Eid, and Quawnza (sp). People take time off work during this time to go on vacation and hang out with their friends and families.

You are pretty much the only one that stays in the office this entire time, answering phone calls or emails from other workaholic dictators. To us our work is not our lives, it is our paycheck. We need it to get by but we do not need it to live. Please understand that this means that during the holidays we will not be answering emails or the phone on Christmas Day, Boxing Day or New Years Day.

They are stat holidays and we are at home. By law we are entitled to them. That means when we come into work on the day after Christmas Day, Boxing Day or New Years Day your dirty looks and snide comments are not welcome. Keep your idiotic workaholic comments to yourself or else I will be forced to stick a candy cane where the sun don’t shine.

Yours truly,

The Elfster

Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse, & Breaking Dawn

2008-12-31T13:15:00.001-05:00

I got the series for Christmas and I was excited. I heard a lot of good things about the series and I wanted to check it out. I was also a bit apprehensive. I am in my late, late 20’s now and I know that these books are geared towards teenagers. But I convinced myself that because I find Georgia Nicolson hilarious, these books shouldn’t be a problem.

I was wrong.

I am beyond annoyed at this series and here are my reasons why. (I am spelling out my reasons because Millhouse is forever hearing me complain about the series but he doesn’t quite understand my reasoning or my bitching.)

Bella

She is a whiny, submissive, little girl. She is 17 and hopelessly in ‘love’ with Edward. However, she is constantly going on about how good looking he is and how plain she is. So from what I can gather she’s not really in ‘love’ she’s infatuated and possibly obsessed. He’s good looking and she’s attracted to him, that doesn’t mean that you dedicate you immortal life to him. Also, she has no personality. Her personality is Edward. Her life is Edward. If he’s not around she can’t function. Chickie – that is not normal!!!! Exercising some independent thought is a good thing. Rely on your brain and make some of your own decisions based on your own personality. Don’t sit around waiting for him to tell you when and how to live or not live your life. I hate the message that a ‘plain’ girl has to lose herself and dedicate her life to the whims of her good looking boyfriend. Hello Madame Author – how about writing a book where the heroine is strong, confident and capable. These stories of girls that are dependant on their boyfriends irk me beyond belief!!!

Edward

He is 99 years old but he still has no sense. He’s attracted to Bella because she is beautiful and because he can’t read her mind. She is a mystery and that is why he wants her. I find him controlling, manipulative and a smart ass. I really don’t like the way he tries and succeeds at alienating Bella from all the people in her life and making himself the center.

I can’t stand the message that these books are subconsciously sending out, the subordinate position of the girl and the complete dominance of the guy. But there is something in these books that make them impossible to put down. I really wanted to stop reading after Twilight but I didn’t.

Oh Mr. Postman I have something for you

2008-12-30T12:54:00.001-05:00

Dear Cancer Stick Suckers

I recognize that you are addicted to the sweet, sweet nectar of nicotine, cyanide, and arsenic. I know that even the thought of wind chills, frostbite and freezing rain will not stop you from venturing outside for a puff. These are your imperatives and if you chose to fill your body will carcinogens, you go right ahead.

But on your way in and out the door for your cig it with be greatly appreciated if you would close the door behind you. I know that in your pre – smoke haste you are in a rush to get outdoors and fill up your lungs and you may not notice the frigid temperatures. And in your post – smoke stupor I know you fail to recognize that it is so cold outside that a penguin would wear a parka. But alas I am not a penguin, but I am in a parka. My seat next to the door guarantees that I will be exposed to the outside temperatures more often than I am exposed to the indoor heating system.

And just to clarify I don’t like the cold air blowing on me as I merrily type away. If I wanted to sit in the cold I would sit outside. Close the door when you go in and out. If you accidentally lock yourself out I will let you in, I promise.

Kindest Regards,
The Icicle in cubicle 24

Fat girl trapped in a fat girl body

2008-12-29T15:49:00.000-05:00

I complain about my weight all the time - I am fat, I have gotten fat, I keep getting fatter and my weight really does bother me. I have these visions in my head of me eating healthy, running on a treadmill getting leaner and thinner but that is not reality. In reality I am an unmotivated slob.

I could walk on my lunch hour if I wanted to but I don’t.
I could pass on the birthday cake, but I don’t.
I could have fruit instead of chips, but I don’t.

I sabotage myself because I like food too much to give it up. I like mashed potatoes with butter. I like cake, cookies and ice cream. I like Cheetos and coke. I have a love affair with food and I think it has gone past a casual romance to an obsession. I even live off porn for fat people (the food network). I think I am addicted to food and I don’t think that’s a bad thing.

How do I keep on loving food and lose weight? If Oprah can’t do it then no one can.

Happy Ho Ho!!

2008-12-25T22:04:00.001-05:00

Wishing you a very Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays and all that jazz. Keep safe and have fun.

Oh Mr. Postman I have something for you

2008-12-20T20:33:00.004-05:00

Dear Idiot Driver

It is snowing. We live in Canada, the land of ice and snow. Don't act so surprised to see snow out there. Why is it that every single year you forget how to drive when it starts to snow. I know that you may be out of practice when driving in the snow because I mean we only have winter for eight months a year and those four months of nice weather, wipes out the snow driving techniques from your brain. But here is something that you may not realize, when it snows you can't drive the same way that you would when the roads are dry.

You can't drive like a racecar driver, slow the hell down!! I don't want to crash because of you. Don't you know that speed kills not black ice.

That is all. Now get off my ass.

Meli

Oh Mr. Postman I have something for you

2008-12-19T11:27:00.002-05:00

Dear Timmy's Cashier

Yes, I asked for a large steeped tea with 5 sugars. I repeated my order twice just to make sure that you got it. I know that it is an excessive amount of sugar, but I don't get much sleep and I need the energy. Your funny look is not required nor is your attempt to 'trick' me. I can taste when you only put in two packets of sugar besides I am not blind, I saw you only open two packets. Because of that don't look so surprised that I asked for three other packets of sugar. I will make my tea the way I like it when I get in the car.

Thanks,
A Diabetic in training

Good God man – SHUT UP!!

2008-12-12T12:19:00.000-05:00

Albert is new here and I am so ready to hit him over the head with my monitor. He’s a temp, and generally I am more welcoming to temps that I am to anyone else. I think it has to do with the fact that they will eventually leave. I don’t have to see them day in and day out for as long as I am employed and that really appeals to me. So when Albert joined, I was semi – welcoming and I smiled at him.

Now if I see him in the hall, I (literally) turn around and go in the other direction. He has managed to get on every one of my nerves and I am so close to becoming violent it’s not even funny. This is all the result of his know – it – all attitude. He has an opinion on everything, and that in itself isn’t a bad thing. But he thinks that his opinion is always right, no matter what you say HIS version is always correct. And believe me some of the things that he says are far from correct.

Here are some of the most recent pieces of wisdom that he has decided to share:

♥ If a white couple has a black baby, it has nothing to do with the possibility of the parents having a dormant black gene from previous generations. Nope, it is because the wife was fantasizing about a black man during her pregnancy. (No joke, he said this)
♥ To lose weight, there is no need to eat healthy or exercise. Instead think about a celebrity that you would like to look like and you will look like that person. (OK let’s give this one a try. Visualizing Jessica Alba, do I look like her yet???)
♥ Interracial couples are doomed to fail. People are genetically programmed to only be attracted to their own race. And going against that programming is like going against nature. (He said this one to one half of a interracial couple)

Now do you understand why I want to knock him???

A review is my opinion, dumbass!!

2008-12-11T12:27:00.001-05:00

The PC version of this one is here. This is how I really feel about this chickie. She had this to say about this review – and it pissed me off to no end.

“You must not be a mother because you didn’t understand it at all…you (and a lot of others) are the reason the paparazzi put people’s lives in danger just to get the inside scoop. When the first pages of the book read that this is not a “tell-all,” maybe you should have put it down. I recommend re-reading this when you have children.”

Lemme start off by saying that I was very apprehensive about putting reviews online because I like to play things close to my vest. If I like something I like it, I don’t want to have to deal with negative comments from people. So I do my own thing.

I am beyond ticked off about her comments because she wasn’t commenting on anything that I had to say about the book, she was attacking me personally. That is a huge no – no. I don’t know who the hell she thinks she is!!

But if you’re going to get personal lets get personal:

♥ What kind of mother lets her daughter gyrate in a schoolgirl skirt while begging her boyfriend to ‘hit’ her one more time?
♥ What kind of mother lets her daughter get breast implants at 17?
♥ What kind of mother lets her daughter drive with her baby on her lap?
♥ What kind of mother lets her daughter battle grown up demons as a child?
♥ What kind of mother sells the story of her teenage daughter’s pregnancy to a tabloid?
♥ What kind of mother sells the photos of her teenage daughter’s baby to a tabloid?
♥ What kind of mother sells the story of her family’s hardship to a publisher?

The answer to all of the above is a bad mother, and that is what Lynn Spears did. So in my books that makes her a bad mother.

This bitch has proven time and time again that she is anything but a good mother. She has proven time and time again that he only concern is for the money that is able to make off of her children. She is a glorified pimp. And ‘Jenn” from Coles if you think that this book demonstrates the hardships of a parent you are sadly mistaken. Lynn Spears is nothing but a money hungry, publicity whore who will sell her soul if enough money was offered. “Jenn” from Coles if you think that this is the portrait of a good mother, then I am greatly saddened for your children. As they will grow up having no morals and being money hungry deviants because it is quite obvious that that is what you are because you feel Lynn Spears is the epitome of a good mother.

But that’s just my opinion.

He so sexy!!

2008-12-10T13:07:00.000-05:00

But he’s also insane. That’s OK though, I take the good with the bad.

http://ca.news.yahoo.com/s/capress/081210/entertainment/music_dmx

Mofo Engine light!

2008-12-10T13:06:00.002-05:00

Last month I became the proud owner of my car, this morning the service engine light came on.

WTF!!

For 5 years my car has run with no problems, this is the first time ever the engine light has come on. I am not impressed!!!

Through the Storm: A Real Story of Fame and Family in a Tabloid World

2008-12-09T16:33:00.001-05:00

Britney Spears is my favorite celebrity train wreck. I have to confess that I have been following the torrid accounts of her life through the celebrity gossip magazines for years. I have always been intrigued by her rise and fall from stardom. So when I saw that her mom had written a book about her life, I jumped at the chance to read it. I wanted an inside scoop on her life and her zaniness.

However, through the Storm by Lynne Spears does not deliver insider gossip or zaniness. Instead, it offers an insight in a family that was consumed by the pursuit of fame and fortune. Lynne Spears spends a great deal of the book justifying her actions, as acts in the best interests of her children. Her explanation paints her as a simple mother working to help her children fulfill their dreams. However, somewhere along the way Britney Spears became a little girl lost in a life of glamour, pressure and stereotypes. Her mother details how she lost control of her daughter when she allowed industry insiders to have more control of her than she did.

Lynne Spears also details the trials and tribulations that she experienced with the youngest daughter, Jamie Lynn. She provides an insight into her reaction into her pregnancy at such a young age and once again projects her blame onto the industry and Jamie Lynn’s career.

I found this book to be a self righteous, blame free version of the tabloid stories on the part of Lynne Spears. This book appears to be an attempt to separate Lynne Spears from the negative aspects of her children’s lives. Although it was an easy read, I found it to be a thinly veiled attempt by Lynne Spears to profit off of her children.

Doing nothing does not constitute hard work

2008-12-09T11:05:00.001-05:00

There is all kinds of drama going on in our sales department. It’s getting to be quite entertaining in an Office kind of way, only without the funny characters and humorous banter.

When I was pregnant Neil was hired on as a sales guy. He was supposed to be the shining star that stopped the bleeding of our department. I come back from mat leave and he is the manager of sales. That’s not a good sign; my company has a habit of promoting idiots. And they have yet to disappoint. He’s a manager who does nothing. I sent them three urgent emails, nothing happened. I sent him three urgent emails and copied in my boss, nothing happened. I sent him three urgent emails and copied in his boss, nothing happened. I sent him three urgent emails, copied in his boss and his boss’s boss, and I got an email back.

Hooray!

It said that I had no right escalating the matter and that he did not appreciate my underhandedness.

Whatever!! Get my stuff done and I won’t have to do this kind of thing again.

I stopped talking to him, he stopped talking to me life was good, for me anyway, for him – not so much.

Boris was hired. Boris is supposed to be the shining star that is supposed to save the department. And guess what – he is!! He works hard, he’s a team player and is outshining just about everybody. He is also making it crystal clear that Neil does nothing. Boris has started to go over Neil’s head when he needs something because it takes Neil forever to get anything done. Neil is getting ticked and I am being amused. It looks as though Neil’s days are numbered. I just hope they don’t promote Boris, then he’ll get the mandatory lobotomy and things will go back to the way that they were.

Tempting me to kill you is not a good thing!

2008-12-08T16:14:00.000-05:00

My new cube mate is thisclose to getting smacked in the head by my incredibly fashionable boot. He is driving me freaking crazy. I swear that I am going to start throwing thumb tacks at him. Or maybe I will artistically arrange them on his seat.

In the couple of weeks that he has been sitting next to me, he has:

♥ Farted like there is no tomorrow.
♥ Complained to IT about my heater. IT is my company’s version of the Gestapo! He is trying to get me in some major trouble by reporting my illegal heater. The jackass!!
♥ Eaten potato chips three times a day, after I explained to him that I was on a diet and was seriously craving potato chips.
♥ Listened in on my personal phone calls and then ask me questions about my personal phone calls when I got off the phone. It’s none of your business where I am going on my time off, which is why I was whispering. Once again – you’re a jackass!
♥ Commented that my hair looks really nice when I make an effort. Brethren – how do you know when I am or am not making an effort to have nice hair? Maybe I like the way my hair looks and I don’t need your commentary especially since you have so much gel in your hair, you can go out in a wind storm and it still looks the same!! Third times a charm – Jackass!!

He is playing with fire this one and if he thinks that I am going to stand idly by as he annoys me, he is sadly mistaken!

Six degress of separation

2008-12-08T11:56:00.000-05:00

I have a six degrees of separation type of mind. I start thinking about one thing, then my thought process goes all wonky and leads me to a very different topic but I always end up where I started. It’s weird. I’ve always known this but there are times when even I surprise myself.

This is what I just did -

1st degree – my iPod just died. It was in the middle of a Biggie song from Ready to Die. I love that album. It was back from a time when hip hop was hip hop. Biggie was just awesome. It’s such a shame that he died as young as he did.

2nd degree – Biggie’s birthday was May 23. My son’s birthday is May 22. I wonder if that is some kind of sign. Will my son be like the Notorious BIG? I am going to have to worry about him becoming a gangsta and facing an early grave? Or will he be a multi – million dollar hip hop artist? Is this all because I am such a big Biggie fan and listened to his album all through my pregnancy? Is this some sort of Karma?

3rd degree – Karma is a bitch. No she isn’t, she’s nice depending on who you are. If she really was a bitch and gave you what you put out three fold then Paul Bernardo would not be in a cushy Canadian prison he would be in some hard nose Thai prison, where there is no running water and there are 25 prisoners to a cell. Canadian prisons are more like hotels than jail.

4th degree – I wonder if they are going to build the ice hotel this year. It’s cold enough for it. It minus double digits right now and it is supposed to get colder. You should see my car it’s all covered in ice and snow.

5th degree – I wonder where my snow brush is? I hope it is in my car. I am going to need it when it is time to go home. I will start my car before its time to leave and that way it should be warm when I actually get in it.

6th degree - I have to remember to make sure that I low down the radio though or else people would be able to hear my radio blasting. I hate the music that they play on the ride home. It sucks that my iPod just died.

Random Thought Thursday

2008-12-04T14:25:00.000-05:00

I ♥ random thought Thursday. It is the only time that I can compile a bunch of bullets and run on sentences and call it a blog post. But I don’t limit these to just Thursday though. I think random thought posts are good for any day.

Here are my latest:

♥ My IT department is a bunch of Nazi’s that have been put on this planet to make sure that no one in my office can have any semblance of fun. If you smile around them they will take away your computer. They have put blocks on just about every website, even my beloved Twitter and they are watching everything that anybody does. Hell I am surprised that they haven’t said anything about my iPod yet, but having said that I am sure I will have a red hazard sticker on it when I come back from lunch.
♥ I hate HTML. It takes me forever to change my damn layout. It’s still not where I want it to be and I’ve been working on the damn thing for close to two hours (sssshhhhhhh, don’t tell IT!!). I have to add in my Twitter stuff but blogger is giving me a really hard time right now. Hopefully I can update my Twitter when I get home.
♥ Vicki on the Biggest Loser annoys me. Can’t stand her, don’t know why she is still there. That is all.
♥ Dearest Client, I cannot get responses to International emails in 20 minutes. I am sorry but due to time zones and such, you are going to have to wait for email to be responded to.
♥ Why is that when people walk into the lunch room they feel the need to gaze into my Tupperware dish and comment on my lunch? It is none of your business what I am eating. It could be caramelized mashed potatoes with a slice of deep fried cheesecake smothered in chicken grease, if I am eating it; it is because I like it. I do not need your opinion on how delectable or disgusting my lunch looks.

I have been tagged by the phantom farter!

2008-12-02T10:44:00.001-05:00

For the last couple of weeks, there has been a phantom farter in the office. Someone has been releasing some odors into the air that can knock out an elephant.

But I think I have figured out who the phantom farter is – my new cube mate!! Since he’s in sales, and feels the need to talk to me all the time about every teeniest facet of his life, he pretty much told me that it was him that was sharing his bodily odors with me.

Apparently he is on this new diet that is very high in fiber because he is trying to lose some weight before the holidays and it is making him a bit gassy. I am all for people getting healthy. If you want to work on your fitness you go right ahead but I do have some issues with the phantom farter though.

First off – TOO MUCH INFORMATION!! I don’t need or want to know about his gassiness. I am perfectly happy not knowing about his gassiness.

Secondly – if you’re gassy fine, stop farting around me. And yes, farting at your desk does count as farting around me because I sit beside you! Take a walk outside or something. I cannot handle the noxious fumes that a coming out of your body!! You make my eyes water, my throat close up and I can’t breathe. For the sake of all humanity or at the very least my humanity please revert to eating high fat, deep fried foods. I don’t think I can handle all this healthiness.

Happy December!!

2008-12-01T12:19:00.002-05:00

I really should change the layout to something more Christmas like but I just don't have the time. So this is how it will stay until spring...maybe.

Less than a month to Christmas y’all!! You feeling the pressure yet? I sure as hell am!! I spent close to, if not more than, $500 this weekend. All on Christmas presents and stuff. The ‘and stuff’ is Christmas related but it more like things that you need for the holidays but you don’t give away, ‘stuff’ like decorations and wrapping paper.

Here’s my list. I am making progress but not as much as I would like. But hey I still have a couple of weeks, right????

Start & finish X – mas shopping for Maks & Stinky (done)
Start & finish X – mas shopping for Millhouse
Start & finish X – mas shopping for Beanz (done)
Start & finish X – mas shopping for everybody else on my list (almost done)
Buy, soak and chop up the fruit for rum cake
Clean the guest room
Switch all the sheets from summer sheets to winter sheets
Put away all the summer stuff
Pull out & wash all the winter stuff
Buy saving bonds
Book room at the lodge
Make orange ginger cakes to give as presents
Put together hot chocolate mugs
Decorate the house
Put up tree, lights, & candy canes (done)
Wrap the presents that I have

World AIDS Day

2008-12-01T12:17:00.001-05:00

I’ll keep it simple.

1. AIDS is real.
2. People are dying
3. Not people far away, people right here. People you know and have come in contact with. People with families and lives. It has nothing to do with sexual orientation, skin colour or economics.
4. Educate yourself.
5. Educate others.

Terror has nothing to do with religion

2008-11-27T09:44:00.000-05:00

In the wake of the attacks in Mumbai, I am deeply saddened. I am feel great pain for the families of all those that were killed or injured. Their loss is tragic. This was a savage attack perpetrated by heartless cowards.

That being said, I am not going to make this a political post. There is so much pain and anger out there right now; I do not want to trivialize the loss of innocent lives by getting up on my soap box.

Instead I just have this to say – terrorism has nothing to do with religion.

I have read many comments on this tragedy and I am sickened by the amount of people that are advocating killing innocent Muslims as a means of retaliation. These terrorists are not adhering to the words of the Qu’ran, they cowards that need something to hide behind. Islam is a religion of peace but fanatical Muslim groups and non – Muslims alike are obscuring the message and making it political.

I can almost guarantee than in the days to come – a political message will rise from these attacks. The group responsible will present their grievances and those complaints will be rooted in economics and politics. Religion will have nothing to do with their anger; they just used it to get the world’s attention. They are feeding on our need for buzz words like terror and Islam. And they have manipulated the media and gotten a forum for a voice.

Religions, all religions, are based on the same fundamental values – love, peace, understanding and acceptance. In this time of great tragedy, please remember that.

Baa Baa Baa – went the black sheep

2008-11-19T09:51:00.002-05:00

In retrospect maybe the original post was too whatever. So here's my point without the swearing -

There are people that I wish I wasn't related to but unfortunately I am. So because I can't change my bloodline, I will just disown them. And maybe cus them if they tick me off enough.

That is all.

The A – Z’s of Me!

2008-11-17T15:39:00.001-05:00

A is for age: 28 quickly approaching 29. More like 29 is speeding towards me and there is nothing I can do to stop it. It’ll be here in less than a week.
B is for burger of choice: Not a burger but a sandwich – steak on a bun. A ginormous, messy concoction that tastes wonderful.
C is for the car I drive: A Lancer that is almost mine.
D is for your dog’s name: It was Kingston but it has been changed to Hunter. And he’s not my dog anymore.
E is for essential item you use every day: A hair tie and chap stick. I couldn’t live without them.
F is for favorite TV show at the moment: I dunno, don’t watch much TV. Much to Millouse’s chagrin – The Biggest Loser.
G is for favorite game: Not a big game player. Maybe Mario Kart or Hula hooping on the Fit.
H is for home state: I don’t live in a state. But my home province is Ontario.
I is for instruments you play: Once upon a time I played the violin.
J is for favorite juice: Fruit punch or grape juice. I prefer fizzy water to juice.
K is for whose bum you’d like to kick: Don’t even get me started. The list would be too long.
L is for last restaurant at which you ate: Shoeless Joe’s with Kim.
M is for your favorite Muppet: Miss Piggy, Snuffy, & the Fraggles
N is for number of piercings: 4, 2 in each ear.
O is for overnight hospital stays: 2 – one for 15 days with my kidney. One for 3 days when I had Maks.
P is for people you were with today: Maks, Millhouse & work people
Q is for what you do with your quiet time: Read when I can but mostly clean and sleep.
R is for biggest regret: Not getting my masters right after my BA
S is for status: Not sure what this means. I’m married & at work.
T is for time you woke up today: 5:45 am. I looked at the clock before I went to get Maks from his crib.
U is for what you consider unique about yourself: Everything. I am a little odd depending who you ask.
V is for vegetable you love: Eggplant mostly. But I like just about all of them except for some of the yucky ones my mom makes.
W is for worst habit: Procrastination and slacking off. It has gotten worse over time.
X is for x-rays you’ve had: I don’t know, 10.
Y is for yummy food you ate today: Leftover chicken & mushrooms with rice.
Z is for zodiac: Sagittarius.

Those that failed the aptitude test need not bother me

2008-11-17T10:05:00.000-05:00

It’s common knowledge that my office is filled with morons. But I wanted to share some of their most recent adventures.

The Email Saga

Sending me an ‘urgent’ email at 9pm on Friday. You will not get a response. I AM NOT IN THE OFFICE. I am at home watching TV. or folding laundry, you should be too!

Sending me a follow up to the ‘urgent’ email at 2am on Saturday. You will not get a response. I AM NOT IN THE OFFICE. I am at home asleep, you should be too!

Sending me a second request to the follow up to the ‘urgent’ email at 9pm on Sunday. You will not get a response. I AM NOT IN THE OFFICE. I am at home contemplating my life and the ramifications of me calling in sick on Monday morning. If I choose the latter, then I am sleeping in and calling in sick.

Confronting me at the front door as soon as I arrive for work (5 minutes late) as to why I have been ignoring your emails. Moron – it was the weekend. I DO NOT WORK WEEKENDS!! Let me get in take off my coat, get my coffee and I will deal with your ‘problem’. If you continue to stand there yelling in my face I will delete all three emails and block your address from my in box.

Just an FYI – the ‘urgent’ issue was something that they could have resolved on Friday but she wanted a second opinion. Jackass – exercise some independent thought. It’ll get you places!!

According to the Wii…..

2008-11-12T08:55:00.000-05:00

I have gained 0.9 pounds!!

How incredibly depressing is that!?!?!

I am trying really hard to be good. I confess I have eaten quite a bit of Halloween candy but I didn’t think that it would have that much of an effect.

Seeing no progress is incredibly disheartening and I really don’t know if I want to keep trying to lose weight because at this point it just seems so pointless. No matter what I try, I will always be a fat girl.

I’m going to get a bag of chips.

High Tech Potty

2008-11-11T14:54:00.000-05:00

Given how much I complained about the port a potties, I have to give some props to my company for our offices new bathrooms. They are beautiful. Everything is hands free and the toilets automatically flush, (thank you God for that one! Because there were people here that didn’t!) even the door is automatic.

Now let’s see what the kitchen is going to be like.

Wishing, begging, pleading with all my might

2008-11-11T11:54:00.000-05:00

That I can get out of my GAC.

Not completely though, I do need my money back from the course and I can only get that if I pass, but I would like to stop attending. There is a distance learning option and I would like to take that part of it. Going to the actual lecture isn’t a big deal for me. I don’t learn anything in the class; I just spend hours on end texting Beanz (who is sitting right next to me) and doodling in my notebook. Nothing of interest ever really transpires in the class, well except for yesterday when some dude got really sick and the ambulance had to come and get him. It was really serious because the instructor took a whole bunch of smoke breaks so he could calm down.

If I work from home, I promise to do the readings and keep up with my homework……ok, who am I kidding I wouldn’t do all that but at least I wouldn’t be trapped in a class with a bunch of ding dongs that make me hate my job even more. (except for Beanz, she rocks!)

AND

I could get my laundry done!!

Lest We Forget

2008-11-11T08:34:00.001-05:00

I may not support ‘war’ but I do support our soldiers. I want to see them come home safely. And I am grateful for the sacrifice that those that didn’t make it home made.
The willingness of veterans to sacrifice for our country has earned them our lasting gratitude. Please take a moment today to remember all of the soldiers who have fought and died for us to have our freedom.

Through The Storm

2008-11-07T10:58:00.000-05:00

I have selected to review Through The Storm by Lynne Spears. It is not my usual type of book to read but her family is my crack. I am hooked on their escapades and I would really like to read their side of the story.

So I will be getting my book in the mail shortly. I don’t suspect that it will be a very difficult read, so the review will be posted shortly thereafter.

If you want to read a bit of the book, click here, it will give you a preview.

I miss my glasses

2008-11-06T10:36:00.000-05:00

About two years ago I had Laser PRK done on my eyes and I have regretted it ever since.

Back then I hated my glasses. I had been wearing them since I was 7 and I figured that it was time for a change. What I didn’t realize at the time though was that my glasses were a part of me. I used them to help define who I was. When I wanted to stand out I would rely on my personal perception of me being a nerd and that would reassure me that I was smart. When I wanted to hide, my glasses helped to cover up my face. I think that is why I am so drawn to sun glasses now. They are making up for my lack of actual glasses.

But my eyes were in horrible shape, my optometrist told me that I would be blind by the time I was 40 if I didn’t get this surgery done, so off I went.

My specialized surgery consisted of them scrapping off the top layer of my eye, zapping it with a laser, and then putting a contact over it until it healed. When it healed the contact would be removed and I would have perfect vision. And that is exactly what happened.

Zapping my eyes took less than 10 minutes but the recovery was horrible. It hurt like hell. I couldn’t open my eyes for almost three days and it was almost a month before the actual pain went away. Since my surgery I have started getting really bad dry eyes, migraine headaches and have really bad night vision. My eyes have started to degenerate already and I have the option of having the surgery redone but I don’t think I will.

I think that I would like my glasses back.

He’s president elect, get over it!!

2008-11-06T09:15:00.000-05:00

There 2 things that are bothering me. OK there are more than 2 things but these are the most annoying.

The issue with his name

His full name is Barack Hussein Obama.

I am going to break this down using small words, so I don’t confuse people or hurt their brains. Hussein is an Islamic name. But here is where people seem to getting confused, not all people with Islamic names are Muslims. Examples of this are Paula Abdul, Karim Abdul – Jabbar & Mohammed Ali. All of them have Islamic names, none of them are Muslim. In fact, you can have an Islamic name and be Christian, Buddhist, Hindu, Atheist, or whatever religion you want to be.

Now here is the next part of this and hold on to your hats for this one – not all Muslims are terrorists. Shocking I know!! In fact the vast majority of Muslims are not terrorists and they do not condone the actions of the fundamentalists. The vast majority of Muslims do not support, respect or fund terrorist groups.

So to those that think because his middle name is Hussein he is an Islamic terrorist, what have you been smoking? And can I have some?

Not Thanking God

Apparently him not coming out and thanking God in his victory speech is a huge faux pas. I am not sure what people were expecting; maybe an MTV music awards type speech.

You know, something like: “I want to shout out Jesus. You’re my Lord & Savior man. I couldn’t have rocked this election like I did without you and in four years when the next election drops I hope you got my back. Peace out to Brooklyn!” (Had to throw in the Biggie reference, I miss Biggie)

Was that what people wanted? I mean he did reference God, in his speech – three times!! He didn’t break down into prayer or anything but I am not sure what the big deal is about him not outright thanking God. He is the president not a priest. And religion has nothing to do with the position that he was just elected into.

I apologize for the political post, I try to avoid them but the blatant nit picking of someone that hasn’t even taken office yet is maddening. Let the man get sworn in, have him tackle some issues and then criticize. He’s going to be here for the next 4 years; you have plenty of time to pick on him for his penmanship, parallel parking ability, and roast carving skills. Right now, dry your eyes, wipe your nose & watch an Elizabeth Hasselbeck highlight reel.

Pop Quiz

2008-11-05T16:36:00.000-05:00

Quick!! Other than my family what are the two things that I love?

Think quickly, you only have three seconds before this message self destructs. OK it won’t self destruct but if you’re stuck, just look at the tag line and this will make sense.

I love books, and I love free books even more. So when I found out about the Thomas Nelson Book Review Bloggers I was beyond hyped. You can sign up to get free books under the condition that you put a book review on your blog. This is heaven for me. I am all about reading and writing a short review about a book that I picked out is sweet!!

I have just been approved, and I will be selecting my book soon. I will let you know which one I choose but I have requested mostly fiction titles. This is so me!!

P.S. Times up - what are my loves?

Nigella Lawson

2008-11-05T09:28:00.000-05:00

I ♥ Nigella Lawson.

I was hooked after seeing deep fry a bounty bar. I think that when it comes to celebrity chefs she is the most awesome one of all. I love the fact that she loves food and doesn’t care about the fat or calorie count. She makes comfort food that just make you feel all warm inside.

Nothing that she makes is overly complicated. And I love the fact that she has the express recipes now. I think that every foodie should have at least one of her cook books because she brings good comfort food to the table.

She’s my dream wife, if I were a guy.

I am Canadian, but I am not immune - change has come

2008-11-05T09:20:00.000-05:00

I couldn’t help but follow the US presidential election. It was everywhere and I pretty much had no choice but to keep up with what was going on. I listened to the platforms, I didn’t pay attention to the hype just listened to the plans for the future that each candidate had, to me this wasn’t about race it was about change and the desperate need for change. I listened and I read and I made a decision. I played my cards close to my chest and I hoped that Obama would win. I love his idea that a change is needed, because it is. Positive hope is what this world needs and brought that message to the forefront. No doubt this was a historical election; the entire world was watching to see how this would play out. I watched CBS, NBC, & CNN last night with knots in my stomach and at some point’s tears in my eyes. I hoped he would win and he did. Now I hope he does what he said he would.

Obama is president of the United States and I am hopeful.

Below is his acceptance speech (in its entirety) for your reading pleasure. It was eloquently spoken and full of hope.

“Hello, Chicago.

If there is anyone out there who still doubts that America is a place where all things are possible, who still wonders if the dream of our founders is alive in our time, who still questions the power of our democracy, tonight is your answer.

It's the answer told by lines that stretched around schools and churches in numbers this nation has never seen, by people who waited three hours and four hours, many for the first time in their lives, because they believed that this time must be different, that their voices could be that difference.

It's the answer spoken by young and old, rich and poor, Democrat and Republican, black, white, Hispanic, Asian, Native American, gay, straight, disabled and not disabled. Americans who sent a message to the world that we have never been just a collection of individuals or a collection of red states and blue states.

We are, and always will be, the United States of America.

It's the answer that led those who've been told for so long by so many to be cynical and fearful and doubtful about what we can achieve to put their hands on the arc of history and bend it once more toward the hope of a better day.”

Lord help me!

2008-11-04T11:25:00.001-05:00

That contagious disease called – stupidity has infected the people in my GAC!!

You should have seen it, I was surrounded. It was like they were trying to get me, but I managed to avoid catching it. Here are some of the people that were there.

Stuck up snob – this dude looks like he a salesman. If he’s not he aspires to be one. He’s always in a suit, has an old man hair cut, and is forever taking notes. Even when the instructor isn’t talking, he’s taking notes. He thinks that he is far superior mentally to me and refuses to be my partner or be a member or any group that I am in. He will literally move his stuff away from where I am sitting and join another group so that he does not have to lower himself to my level. The only time that this changed was when I got 99% an exam and he wanted to sit beside me to absorb me smartness.

Rules are for fools – this moron looks like a regular guy but he has some sort of hearing impairment. He likes to keep writing after tests and exams are over and then argue with the TA when they reprimand him for it. Shut up, stop writing and hand in your paper.
Tweedle Dee & Tweedle Dum – they sit in the very back row and they are the bestest of friends. They are smart, really smart. They know their stuff and consistently score really high marks. But all their smarts are in the butt making them Queen Smart Asses. They have a snide remark for everything and never, ever shut up. Even when they’re wrong they’re right and they keep babbling on.

They are not the only ones infected but they were the ones trying to get me last night.

GAC makes me ill

2008-11-04T09:24:00.000-05:00

Since my craptacular performance on my last exam, every time I think about my GAC I feel physically ill. The idea of the class makes me so nauseous I can’t function.

We had another freaking test yesterday and I studied my butt off this time. I practically memorized the entire book in anticipation. But all the stressing over the test was making me light headed and sick to my stomach.

I am not sure I want to keep going with this class if it is going to stress me out like this. I ended up drinking a ton of water during the test and I think I did alright. I don’t think I killed it like the first test, but I think I at least passed this time. Or at least I am hoping that I passed this time.

Happy November!

2008-11-04T09:23:00.000-05:00

Kinda late, I know.

But tada!! A brand new layout!!

I really like this one, it suits me. The other one was alright but it was one that I just settled for because what I was trying to do wasn’t working.

I don’t really have anything of substance to say, I just wanted to acknowledge my new layout.

P.S. Less than 2 months until Christmas!!!! Time to get crack – a – lacking!! (Not sure what that means, I just wanted to use it in a sentence)

Candy Scrooges!

2008-10-30T10:05:00.000-04:00

Halloween it tomorrow and I am super excited. I love Halloween. Any holiday where you can dress up and eat candy is my kind of occasion but apparently there are not a lot of people agree with me. I was talking to a bunch of people and a lot of them are not dressing up or giving out candy tomorrow.

I find that very sad.

I mean don’t they realize that they are going to be disappointing a ton of kids. Halloween is one of the funnest (not a real word, I know) holidays for kids. (I think the most favorite holiday would have to be Christmas but Halloween is a close second.) And they are basically slamming the door in their face. And there are ramifications for not giving out candy. The true hoodlums will egg and/or toilet paper your house.

I am not too concerned about the vandalism part. My house has only even been egged once and that had nothing to do with Halloween. That happened because the area residents felt that a family with our complexion should not be living in their neighborhood. That is another post though.

Back to the candy scrooges –

I think that they are just mean spirited people. I could not disappoint the kids like that. They come out in the rain, snow and freezing cold dressed up as their favorite super hero because they like it. Candy is their reward for basically braving some crazy weather and going door to door to show off their costume.

But the candy scrooges that tick me off even more than the ones that don’t open their doors are the ones that take their kids trick or treating. They don’t give out candy but they have the audacity to take their kids out and expect other people to give them candy. WTF!!

So to all the candy scrooges out there - have a heart, buy a bag of candy and give it out.