My birthday is coming up

There are about 54 days before I turn the big 2 – 9!! It’s not that number that scares me; it is the one that comes after it, that freaks the hell out of me.

On November 23, 2009 I will turn 30!!

That just a scary thought to me, I will be half way to sixty and one third of the way to 90!! Frickin freaky, I tell you! I will have no choice to become an adult at that point. Which means that I have to do grown up things and act more mature…..WHATEVER!!! We’ll see if that is even humanly possible when that time comes.

But in the meantime I have been updating my wish list on Amazon. I am easy to shop for, just go on my wish list and click away. I picked all the books on there, so it’s guaranteed that I am going to like my present.

My latest ‘wishes’ are for all the Georgia Nicholson books. I love this chickie! She is laugh out loud hilarity. The trials and tribulations of her nunga nungas, her boy entrancers and her ability to make all things into an osity is genius! I would love to go to Swiss Cheese land or Kiwi A go go with this chick.

So people that is my birthday wish, send me on a trip with Georgia Nicholson!!

Hip Hop is dead

***Disclaimer***
I do not encourage violence nor I am advocating crime, this is just my point of view. It may be offensive to some, but I am entitled to it. If you don’t agree with what I have to fine, you are entitled to that. But this is my piece and this is how I see it.

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I have been a hip hop head since the age of 10. The first rap song I ever heard was ‘She Swallowed It’ by Slick Rick. Not appropriate for a 10 year old, true but I was hooked nevertheless. Big Daddy Kane, Run DMC, Wu Tang Clang, Biggie Smalls – I love them all. But I am not pleased with the way that hip hop is going and I have to get this off my chest.

Bling bling

Hip Hop was never about the bling. It was a reflection of life in the ghetto, it was about being poor. The baggy jeans, oversized shirts, were a sign of economic hardships not a fashion statement. What in the hell does a diamond encrusted chain represent? You made it, yeah you did but at what cost? Selling out to get one song on commercial radio and then fading into obscurity. Please, that’s not hip hop, that’s conforming. Might as well call yourself a pop artist.

Hip hop artists cannot sing

If you want to be a crooner get into R & B, stop trying to think that you can sing hooks.

Lingo

The constant need to create need words and calling it southern lingo doesn’t work. It just seems to perpetuate negative stereotypes. Spelling and grammar have been around before you; words are spelled and pronounced a certain way for a reason. Encourage youth to speak properly and maybe the cycle of oppression can end. Don’t complain about being held down when you don’t know how to spell dilemma correctly!!

Moves

Stop inventing dances that look like more like an epileptic seizure than a rhythmic movement to music. Arms flaying around and legs jiggling like jell-o is not a skill. Also, gyrating and bouncing your ass in front of a camera isn’t dancing either, its gyrating and bouncing your ass. Neither is a skill, and if you think it is, please read a book.

50 cent

First off I would not brag that you were shot however many times it was that you were shot. Back in the day, people shot the snitches and the dudes that thought that they were roughnecks but they weren’t. Which were you? It used to be that the glory was on the shooter not the poor jackass being shot at.

Also, you call your little group of hangers on – G Unit a.k.a. Gorilla Unit. How stupid are your friends? They are letting you call them sub intelligent primates and they are cool with it? If your personality is a reflection of the company you keep – you are a wanna be with no real talent.

Lastly, what message are the 'artists' trying to put out there? The songs revolve around what you have and how you're better than everybody else. Nice message, but how true is it? Your record label owns your name, and the radio station owns your soul. If they gave up on you would you still be rapping? I highly doubt it, and that tells me hip hop was never in your heart. Today's artist don't feel the music they feel the money and because of that an era has come to an end.

But that’s just my opinion.

Fleece Sheets

I am always cold, no joke, I am freezing right now. I think it is my island blood. If the temperature drops below 25 Celsius I am shivering. So given that this is the great white north and it’s winter here for almost 8 months, I am not a happy camper the majority of the time. I have a space heater and blanket in the office. My car has the heat turned on almost all the time, and at home I walk around in sweat pants, sweat shirts and the woolliest socks I can find.

But I can’t sleep in sweats, the pants bunch up around my knees and because the sweat shirts I wear are XXL, the arms then to choke me at night. So come time to crawl into bed, I am crawling into the coldest bed on the planet (or at least that’s what it feels like to me). So I found these fleece sheets that I want to buy and they are on SALE!!

I love sales!

Milhouse won’t let me get them though. It has nothing to do with the price, it’s because as cold as I am he’s always hot. He’d shovel snow in shorts if he could. So because he may sweat to death, he has vetoed my request for fleece sheets. Now he just has to deal with my constant complaining about how cold I am.

The Anthropologist in me

Thinks that this is really cool.

Thieving Co – Worker

Dear Person Stealing my Yogurt

When I put my food in the communal refrigerator it is not for you to take. It is still my food even though it is in the fridge that everyone uses. I am not nominating my yogurt to be your mid afternoon snack.

Stop taking it!! It is mine. My name is on it for a reason. I bring it in so that I can eat it in lieu of a chocolate bar. Because of you I am either starving by the time I go home or feeling incredibly guilty for eating a Snickers. Stop messing with my food or else.

If I catch you stealing my yogurt again I will resort to the punishments from way back when and cut of your hand.

If you think I am kidding, just try me.

Regards,
Me

Jus tickin’ me off

Maybe it’s because I’m sick, or maybe it’s because my baby is sick and at home, or maybe it is because the sun is shining and I’m inside; I don’t know but everyone just seems to be ticking me off today.

Take your damn phone off speaker. I do not need nor do I want to hear your conversation. I do not find your lame sales jokes entertaining nor do I enjoy listening to the instrumental music that plays when you are on hold.

Put your cell phone on vibrate. You are not superman; I do not need to hear the superman theme song every time someone calls you. Also, if you are avoiding a call hit ignore, don’t let you phone just keep ringing. If you don’t start picking up calls you run the risk of me walking over, and answering your damn phone, and you don’t want that.

Stop humming. I can hear you!! Dude, you really have to quit with the humming. At first it was mildly amusing but now it is just plain annoying. I realize you like whatever song it is you are listening to but I don’t need to hear your version over and over again.

Rant over, I am going to go eat a chocolate bar now.

Let the feeding frenzy begin...

The sales manager quit yesterday. He didn’t hand in his notice, he just came in packed up his stuff and walked out. So now his position is open and the ass kissing has begun.

The man hasn’t been gone 24 hours yet and there are already at least 5 people brown nosing the GM trying to get an ‘in’ on the job. Just about all the sales guys have decided that they are qualified and are sucking up so much that their lips are in a permanent pucker.

It’s quite a sight to see….