Let’s talk about Race

Sandra Bullock recently adopted a child. She divorced her cheating husband, pulled up her socks and moved on. In the process she learned to love a child. She is now a parent. I love this. I love the fact that two people have found a love in each other than cannot be quantified. From what I can see, they are happy.

And that is all kinds of awesomeness.

What bothers me is the comments that are being generated from this adoption. People are jumping around waving red flags because she is a white woman who has adopted a black child. This is apparently a negative. I am hearing all kind of arguments about how she could never love him like a black woman could, how he will lose his culture, how this adoption has ruined his “blackness”. There have been arguments that as a mother she is going to fail him and as a son he will never be adequate.

Please forgive my profanity here but that is bullshit, a whole truck load of it.

I would love someone to define “blackness” and “whiteness” to me. I want someone to define “black culture” and how it differs from “white culture” to me. I want a definition that steps away from perpetuated norms, one that steps away from stereotypes and gives me something that is not socially constructed to fit neatly into a box. I don’t want to hear about ghettos, oppression, hip hop, or social clubs. I want to know what makes a black person inherently different from a white person, what are the markers that differentiate the races.

I want to know this simply because there are none. Every single person on this planet has different experiences. No two people have walked the same path. While some races have journeyed along together no members have the same experience. No one person can say that every single other person experienced the same thing because shared experiences en mass do not exist. Locations can be shared but experiences cannot. No two people will ever have the exact same idea and because of that there is no inherent sameness between people. And without that inherent sameness there cannot be an inherent difference between people.

To start segregating the population based on race doesn’t provide an end. It is only the beginning. If you separate the populations based on race, then break it down further, break it down by sex, then by class, then by sexuality, then by age and then by geographic location. Lastly, break it down by experience. Now you are left with the individual.

And as long winded as that example was, my point is this, what is the purpose of breaking down society? Why can we not accept ourselves as a global village where each member is a sum of their single being and that instead of trying to further break things apart we should work on repairing.

Dip me in axle grease and call me slick

Yup, when you stop trying it happens.

Maks and Stinky will have a new little brother or sister at the end of September.

For my FB peoples please don't say anything on my wall please, my boss doesn't know yet. :P

Book Review: The Time Travelers Wife

* I am stating this upfront: I AM NOT ROMANTIC. With the exception of Dirty Dancing, The Notebook, and A Love Story, I have not encountered a love story that I did not find utterly ridiculous and this was not an exception.*

The story starts off with six year old Clare. She meets a naked 20 something year old Henry in a field. He tells her that he is a time traveler and that she will be his wife in the future. He continues to visit her over the course of her life, in which she ages chronologically but he comes in various ages sometimes in his 20’s, 30’s or 40’s, and each time he tells her about how they are going to be together in the future.

When Clare finally meets the Henry she will meet him when they are the same age but he won’t know who she is. It is not until she starts telling him about how he used to visit her as a little girl that he decides to go back in time to see what she is talking about. He has to go backwards to understand her moving forward. It is semi – confusing as he is always trying to catch up with her past. They get together, get married, have a child and he eventually dies as she grows old.

Typical romance novel dribble.

Here are my issues with the book:

• He screwed her over. He starts visiting her from childhood telling her about this great love that they are going to share and how they are meant to be together. Because of this she basically gives up on love. She doesn’t date, have any other romantic relationships (except for the one night stand that she has with her best friend’s boyfriend), she just sits around waiting for him to materialize. Literally.



• While she was waiting, he was out sleeping with other women, having relationships and experiences that Clare never experienced all because he didn't dedicate his life to her until after he met her.



• He is perfect. I hate this description. No one is perfect. The reason he is perfect is because she doesn’t know any one else.



• All she does is wait. She spends 75% of the book waiting for him. Her adolescent and young adult years are spent waiting for them to meet. Her married years are spent waiting for him to appear whenever he disappears. After his death she spends the rest of her adulthood waiting for him to reappear one last time. She doesn’t enjoy life because she is forever waiting.

I found the entire novel depressing and sad.

Gather 'round let me tell you a story...

Once upon a time there was a girl who spent a good deal of her life comparing herself to someone else. The girl she compared herself to was someone that someone else had loved. The girl was always told that the girl that someone else had loved was beautiful, smart, an angel, the world, articulate, creative, curvy, slim, brilliant, captivating, delicious, mesmerizing and everything & anything. She was someone that the girl could never be. She would never measure up.

It took a long time for the girl to convince herself that she was equal to the girl that someone else had loved. It took a long time for her to understand that even though she wasn't everything and anything to that person, she was everything and anything to someone else and that made her heart smile.

But there was one aspect of the other girl that the girl wanted. She wanted friends. The someone that someone else had loved had friends. She had heart friends that loved her. She had creative friends to whom she could express herself. She had fun friends with whom she could call on a whim. She oodles and oodles of friends and the girl had none.

The girl had none. And it is doubtful that she ever would have the friendships that the someone that someone else loved had. That made her sad but she accepted it and moved on.

I can relate

This is Aubrey. She was on the last season of the Biggest Loser. She is a mom of four who was on the show to lose weight for her kids. On the show she lost a good bit of weight and vowed to keep working when she got home.

But she didn’t.

Life caught up with her and she put back on the weight. She didn’t want to put back on the weight she tried to get working like she did on the show but she just couldn’t keep going because life wouldn’t let her.

I was angry at her when I saw that. I was certain that she would be able to keep going and I couldn’t understand why she just couldn’t keep working hard.

I was wrong.

I am her.

Life is catching up with me and it is really hard for me to keep the weight that I lost off. I don’t have the drive anymore and it feels like I am running uphill to get where I was.

In the two weeks since Caribana I have put on weight. In the two weeks since Boot camp and Socacize, I have put on weight. I wish I could stop putting on weight but it is so easy to be lazy. I am trying to get the mindset that I once had back but it is so hard. I never thought it would be this hard.

I can now relate to Aubrey.

Let’s get political: Obama half way in

OK so we are half way through President Obama’s first year in office. According to the polls his approval rating is down to 50% which puts him lower down in popularity that George W was at the same time into his first year. So with that being said, I figured that I would weigh in on his performance thus far and give my unsolicited opinion.

I’m not impressed.

Now before you start typing up the mean comments keep reading.

I am not ignoring the fact that he came into a very difficult situation; he has to deal with a recession that resembles the great depression, two wars and a whole lot of global dislike thanks to his predecessor. Hell, Jesus would have a tough time given those odds. And no I am not comparing him to Jesus, Mohammed, Buddha, or any other deity. I am not raising him to those heights frankly because the idolization of politicians and celebrities is a completely different post that I don’t feel like writing today. But my point was: anybody would have a hard time dealing messes that he has to deal with.

That point taken, I am not impressed.

During the election, the campaigning was the popularity contest that would rival any high school election. And Obama played his part to the tee. He was the athletic, popular kid who relied on his good looks and charm to get him into office. And I commend him for that. His PR people recognized what would work and they ran with it. The general population was not concerned with his political platform but how buff he looked without his shirt on. He graced the covers of pop culture publications and went on MTV. His PR plan was genius and obviously it worked.

6 months into it he is still playing the part of the popular kid. He is still strutting around shooting basketballs, and discussing his love of mustard. However, this is the time to switch it up and move into nerd mode. He has to start treating politics like the science that it is and stop spending so much of his time at photo ops and luncheons. This is the time that he should invoke his knowledge about economics not popular culture. The time for pomp and pageantry is over and it is time to get down to business. Failure to do so will result in two with a lack of substance. It will result in two years of flashbulbs, broken promises and very little change. If he was sincere in his ideology of change, and it wasn’t just some spinmasters articulated woven scheme, then he should start making one now.

But that’s just my opinion.

And no I am not a republican.

Caribana Recap

I copied this from Beanz. I thought she had a way better synopsis than I did. I did make a few changes though because she went through some things that I didn’t.

• Tornadoes in the city!!!
• Flight cancelled, call the bus company
• No time
• Delayed flight of almost 3 hours
• Arriving into Canada at 4:30 am
• Parade starting ON TIME!!! Zoom there goes a flying pig and Hell is freezing over
• running around the CNE trying to make it into our sections before we crossed the stage
• "don't worry, we won't leave you".......wait?! where did the poison ivy go?!?
• "is that rain???"
• sprint 2 blocks uphill
• "you guys better hurry up" as they run by we hear "Wild roses crosses the stage".....WTH!!!
• We Won!
• foam fete with no foam, no liquor, no water, and the lights on
• "this is not soca"
• "he can definitely handle his alcohol"
• "where's DD and cousin??" MIA. 3 hours later DD: "Cousin's past out in the bathroom"
• Pour water on his head
• Beanz is going to throw up, and she’s sober!
• Neekeee's 10 year hiatus over!!!!
• ♥♥♥ Juniors Cheesecake
• boom boom badoom. "what's that noise?" "Tru fell down the stairs"
• "no Marky, you cannot eat mommy's costume"
• "no Stinky, you cannot take six breaks and come with us"
• 12 missed calls from Home
• 6 texts from Millhouse
• "Let's go for apple pie"
• Quick Beanz be the navigator
• Apples are only in season in September!!!
• 3 different apple orchards and all are closed
• Bought some cherry pie instead
• Wiggle your butt and climb up backwards
• Tractor ride
• "Maybe make those piggies things say ur name"......blank stare from cashier
• Zzzzzzzz…………