- Greetings! Welcome to my life! My name is Meli and I'm 29 years old. Wifey to Milhouse, and mommy to a toddler that I call Destructo. If you want to find out some more about them, check out my other blog (www.melidworld.com). That's all I talk about over there. I am proud to say that I a super nerd. I love books and reading. I love all things book related. If I could I would spend all my time eating, reading or sleeping. Eating and food is my other love. I love to try new foods, hence my size, and I find food tv very entertaining. I could watch the Food network all day everyday, but I don't. If I did I would three thousand pounds! So I watch in moderation. This blog is dedicated to ME and all the things I love. So come along for the ride!
- If only I knew who to send it to....
- Just beachy!
- Ghost town
- Guess what?!
- What kind of day do you think I am going to have??...
- A little bit of ha ha
- Yucky Mood
- Dear Pooper
- Baybee vs. Roomba!!
- Beach / Pool List
- Things to do when you don’t want to work
- *sniff sniff*
- When mom’s away, the boys will play
- You know you're a mom when....
- I can't believe I forgot it.....
- Hell's Kitchen video game!
- In case of emergencies
- Completely and utterly exhausted!!
- Oh magic lamp *rub, rub, rub*
- I suck!!
- I don't feel so good
- You know you're a mom when....
- ▼ July (24)
The kitchen is for communal use. Please feel free to use the amenities but remember this is not your home, and I am not your mother. As much as I would love to spend my time cleaning up after you, but I have work to do. I know that concept may be foreign to you, google it, it would be helpful if you understood why you come here everyday.
When you drink that last of the coffee, be so kind as the put another pot to brew. This will ensure that the next time you come in to fill your cup, there is fresh coffee at your disposal. Also, the other people in the office would appreciate it.
Also, when you see that the sugar container is running low, just reach under the counter to the sugar box and refill the container. It’s not very hard to do and you can count it as exercise.
Next, don’t put the milk back into the refrigerator if there is only a half a teaspoon left in the carton. Try to use it up. If your cup is filled to the brim and can hold no more milk, just pour the half a tablespoon in the sink and recycle the container. Recycling is good for the environment, you can tell everyone how ‘green’ you are.
Lastly, cover your food when you warm it up in the microwave. Your chili is a lovely mauve colour, however the microwave does not need a splat of mauve on its ceiling. Also, if your chili, soup, stews or whatever does splatter – clean it up!
Thank you for your time on this matter, you may now return to talking on the phone or playing on the internet.
Here is some info that I found helpful.
Conjunctivitis, commonly known as pinkeye, is an inflammation of the conjunctiva, the clear membrane that covers the white part of the eye and the inner surface of the eyelids. While pinkeye can sometimes be alarming because it may make the eyes extremely red and can spread rapidly, it's a fairly common condition and usually causes no long-term eye or vision damage. But if your child shows symptoms of pinkeye, it's important to see a doctor. Some kinds of pinkeye go away on their own, but other types require treatment. Conjunctivitis can be caused by infections (such as bacteria and viruses), allergies, or substances that irritate the eyes.
Bobby Brown Noser - Bobby shows up to work early, doesn't take lunch and stays late. Whether he's doing it to impress his boss(es) or really has that much work to do, he's serious about his job. Bobby's a nice boy, but he doesn't have too many friends in the office, mostly because he's working through lunch and working past happy hour. But because of that, he's a favorite among the higher-ups. Sometimes his business savvy comes off as being a little ruthless because, after all, he is looking out for himself and his career.
Debbie Downer - Oh Debbie. Some thing's always got her down. One day it's the weather, the next day it's her boss or cube-mate. She's the wrong person to talk to when you're having a bad day, because she just might make you feel worse. Debbie doesn't smile much and you sometimes have to wonder how she got hired in the first place. She must be a genius at excel because she certainly wasn't hired for her positive attitude.
Networking Nancy - Nancy takes networking to another level. Her lunch calendar is booked through September and she likes to spend one-on-one time with everyone in the office. You don't have to talk much at a lunch with Nancy; she loves to talk, mostly about herself and where she sees herself in 2 years, 5 years or 10 years. She wants you to know where she wants to go, just in case you can help her one day.
Superficial Sally - Sally is not one of your closest friends at work. In fact you don't really like her and you're pretty sure she doesn't like you. Whenever you see her, which is usually in the ladies' room or on the elevator, she's sweet as sugar, or tries to be. "How are you, sweetheart?" she asks. "I love your, [long pause] your shoes, so cute," she comments as you think to yourself, my teeth are starting to rot.
Chatty Cathy - We are all familiar with Chatty Cathy. She loves to talk, even more than Nancy does. A conversation with Cathy usually starts with a simple topic, like what she did over the weekend, but before you know it, she's gone off on 12 different tangents and you have no idea how you ended up talking about the Mommy & Me class she took with women who get face lifts. Cathy is also the queen of TMI. She tells whoever will listen about the time she had to cut her husbands toenails or how much her son pooped today. The best thing you can do is avoid conversations with Cathy altogether. The second she gets talking, you're done because Cathy does not follow normal conversation ending etiquette.
Slacker Sara - No one is quite sure what her job is but she never seems to be doing it. She is always on the Internet, or on the phone. Her desk is pristine, and you are not sure if you have ever seen her use a pen. She comes in around 9:30 when the rest of the office comes in at eight, takes 2 hour lunches, and leaves forty five minutes before everybody else.
Hubby, Auntie, Stinky & I loaded up the car with all the beach things that we would need and headed out. We picked up a bucket of chicken on the way there, so we didn't have to worry about food. And we had a cooler of water and juice in the trunk. The weather was awesome, no rain at all, even though it was pouring on the highway as we drove up. The kiddies had a super fun time both on the sand and in the water. It is definitely something that I want to do some more this summer.
I did have some issues though. I wish that the beach was cleaner, there were pieces of all sorts of garbage that people left behind and super sleuth baybee was able to find them all. I can understand bottle caps but really empty prescription containers. Are people that lazy that they can't walk 4 feet to garbage can, they would rather just dump out their prescriptions on the sand?
Also, I wish there was some way to deal the seagulls themselves. They were everywhere and they were quite bold. They would walk right up to you and try to snatch your food. Plus, if you leave your stuff alone they would swoop in on it as one big group and ransack your stuff to get at the food that you may have. At one point we saw them go INTO someone’s bag and pull out a bag of potato chips. This wasn’t a half open bag with the potato chips lying out exposed. It was a shopping bag that was folded over, that a group of ten birds went over to and poked and prodded at until they managed to get it open and pull out the chips. The seagulls were running the beach. I know that there isn't much that I can do about the seagulls, but if anyone knows a good way for me to keep them away please let me know.
Other than that it was a really good day!
And you know what the first thing that jumped into my mind when I saw that, it just popped in there:
DAMN PEOPLE WON THE LOTTERY AND DIDN”T CALL ME!!!
I just knew that they won the millions and had run off with my cut and I was out for blood! Lucky for them they started to come in about five minutes after my brilliant deduction. Turns out that I was on the ball today and everybody else was slacking. I never would have thought that.
The set looks yummy, I have a thing for soap, so this is my attempt at winning it. I never really win anything....OK, scratch that, when I was in grade 4 I won a cowboy hat. It was for coming in third in the 100m dash.
But hey given that that was a bazillion years ago, I'm due.
Wish me luck!!
My outfit is mismatched and doesn’t fit so great (not terribly) but enough that I can tell that I am not my normal snazzy self. The reason for this is because my work clothes are in the pile to be washed and I didn't realize that I had NO clean clothes until this morning. So I had the option of wearing sweat pants or maternity clothes. I opted with my maternity clothes.
And lastly, I forgot my coffee cup at home. So if I want coffee, I have to use the communal cups here, and they are quite gross.
1. Losing all your friends
Man comes home and finds his wife with his friend in bed.
He shoots his friend and kills him.
Wife says 'If you behave like this, you will lose ALL your friends.'
2. Brother wanted
A small boy wrote to Santa Claus,' send me abrother'....
Santa wrote back, 'SEND ME YOUR MOTHER'....
3. Meaning of WIFE
Husband asks, 'Do you know the meaning of WIFE? Itmeans 'Without Information Fighting Everytime'!'
Wife replies, 'No, it means 'With Idiot For Ever'!!!'
4. Importance of a period
Teacher: 'Do you know the importance of a period?'
Kid: 'Yeah, once my sister said she has missed one, my mom fainted, dad got a heart attack &ur driver ran away.'
5. Confident vs. confidential
A young boy asks his Dad, 'What is the difference between confident and confidential?
'Dad says, 'You are my son, I'm confident about that. Your friend over there, is also my son, that's confidential! '
6. Anger management?
Husband: 'When I get mad at you, you never fight back.
How do you control your anger?'
Wife: 'I clean the toilet.'
Husband: 'How does that help?'
Wife: 'I use your toothbrush .'
I just ate an entire large container of French fries that were smothered in ketchup and had a can of coke. Not diet coke, regular full of sugar and calories coke, ice cold from the vending machine. And now I am going to get a chocolate bar, not a piece of a chocolate bar, an entire chocolate bar. One that is filled with peanuts, nougat and caramel; you know the kind, the 400 calorie kind. I am supposed to be eating healthy but I’m not. I am probably going to feel really guilty about this later on but I don’t care. It tasted really good, gosh dang it, and that’s all that matters right now.
P.S. I am looking for the winning lottery numbers, if anyone has them please pass them along. There are some things that I need to get. Thanks in advance!
I understand that every living organism on the face of the earth must expel waste, i.e. poop. If they do not they may poison their insides and/or explode. So I do not have a problem with you going in the communal bathroom to poop. But I just have two simple requests for you.
I know that there is a social stigma around poop. And I can understand your need to exit the stall quickly, before anyone can identify that it was you in there making those noises, and filling the bathroom with that odor. But it would be appreciated if you would remain in the stall and ensure that the toilet flushes completely. No one likes the surprise of lifting the toilet bowl lid and finding someone else’s contents. If an additional flush is necessary, please ensure that you do so. I know that water conservation is a major issue during the summer, but in this case that additional flush is essential.
Also, please use the can of floral scented air freshener in the stall when you are done. No one likes to be greeted with the putrid stench of human excrement when they open the door to the stall. All I am requesting is that YOU spray down the stall after you are done and keep the door slightly ajar so that combination of floral and stink can escape.
So behalf of everyone else that has to use the bathroom, it would be greatly appreciated if you could just remember these two simple requests.
In the other corner, weighing in at 5 pounds – Roomba
As of late my son has had a strange fixation on our roomba. I am not sure if the roomba is his friend or his arch nemesis. He has been running up to the roomba, pushing the on button and then running away! I think that he may be afraid of it, but I am not sure if he are playing a game or not. I can bring the roomba up close to him and he doesn’t do anything but when it is on and working, he runs away. And it is not like he is running away and looking back to see where it is, he is running at top speed to get away from it.
I just have a feeling that one day I am going to come upstairs and find my son sitting on the roomba trying to get it to carry him around or find that he has pulled it apart.
Ah, things to look forward to...
- Beach Bag
- Little Swimmers for the baybee
- A changing pad
- Broad-Brimmed Hats
- Plastic Bags
- Clean Undergarments
- Dry Clothes
- Sun Screen
- Water and Juice
- First Aid Kit
- Sand Toys
- Baby wipes & hand wipes
- Playpen/Portable Crib/Tent
- Shade Umbrellas
- Water Toys
- Life jackets
- Ear Plugs
- Swim Goggles
- Spray Bottle
- Cell Phone
The Pump and Run
Pump both arms over your head for 30 seconds like you're "raising the roof". Then, quickly tap your feet on the floor, as if running through tires, for 30 seconds. Repeat this process for four two six minutes.
Stand up and hold onto the desk with one hand. While holding on, twist your waste and other to one direction and straighten out coming back, like you're doing John Travolta's dance from Saturday Night Fever. One difference -- keep your stare on the hand in motion, not at your date/camera/wall clock. Do this about ten times, and then switch to the other hand. 5 sets should do it.
Sit back in a chair, making sure that your lower back is supported. Put both your hands under your right knee. Slowly, left your left leg up, keeping your keen bent toward the chest. Do this 5 times and then repeat, switching legs.
The Paul Bunyan
Stand up. Bring your hands together near our right shoulder, as if you were about to chop wood. Slowly "swing the axe" by straightening your elbows and moving your hands toward your left thigh. Then come up to your left shoulder, and swing the ax toward your right thigh. That's one rep. Do it ten times.
We're Not Worthy!
Sit down, if you're not already. Stick out your legs so that they're straight, at a 45 degree angle to the floor. Raise both your arms above your head, hands together, extending out so that you're as flat as can be. Bending only your back and crunching at your abs, bring your arms as forward as you can and slowly back up to the extended position. 3 sets of 15 should be good.
The George Costanza
Get under your desk -- really. Get onto your knees and hold onto the desk with both hands. Place your neck between your arms and while straightening out your back, shoulders, and waist. Then, slowly, squeeze your body downwards. Continue the motion by straightening out your body and bending backwards.
30 Second Rump Squeeze
Tighten your butt. Really. Squeeze your "cheeks" together as tightly as you can, and hold for ten seconds. Release. Repeat 10 times. Do this five times a day. The tighter you squeeze, the better results you'll get.
Interlace your fingers behind your back, palms facing in. Raise and straighten your arms, squeezing your shoulder blades together and "opening up" your chest. Fold for five to ten seconds. Repeat five to ten time
Put your feet flat on the floor, and sit up straight. Put your hands and arms, folded,, in your lap. Breathe in deep through your nose, "crunching" your upper and lower abs, pushing your lower back against the chair. Hold for a 3 count and relax, breathing out through your mouth. Do 100 -- or until your boss looks at you funny.
It's making me really hungry!
Dang people that eat at their desks, don't they know that some of us are sitting here playing on the Internet, oops, I mean working.
So when I left ‘my boys’ at home yesterday morning, the house wasn’t the neatest. I didn’t make the beds, the breakfast dishes weren’t done and there were clothes in the washer that needed to go into the dryer (I think they are still in there, come to think of it). So I wasn’t expecting a pristine house when I got home. But boy was I surprised!
When I walked in the door it looked like a tornado went through the house. There were baking dishes in the living room, the baybee was running around in his P.J.’s with a hairbrush in hand, and my hubby looked frazzled. And don’t even get me started on the condition on the toy area.
Now I am not saying that the little man, was malnourished and exhausted. His dad did a very good job with him. He was fed, had numerous diaper changes, and was overall a very happy (still slightly sicky) little boy. They did a whole bunch of activities throughout the day and even went out to a fish & chips place and picked up dinner. I wasn’t expecting the mess to be as big as it was but I guess that is what happens when mommy is away.
Projectile vomit doesn't bother you so much!
The baybee is teething, so we are experiencing all the fun stuff that goes along with that; the crying, the fever, the irritability (and that's just the hubby).
Baybee is holding up OK but the height of his unhappiness was marked by one monumental occasion, the first time that he had projectile vomit.
I am no stranger to projectile vomit, I have experienced it before with my niece, but that was five years ago. You tend to forget or maybe consciously erase the level of gross-ness from your brain. So when I got pregnant and everyone started telling me the horror stories about projectile throw up I got scared, terrified even. I gag when I see a cartoon character upchuck, what the heck was I going to do when my flesh and blood empties the contents of his stomach on me, at such a speed that it resembles a speeding locomotive. I would probably pass out from the icky-ness. I was screwed, 100% screwed.
But when it happened twice in the last two days, I managed not to dry heave or gag, but take care of the baybee. Even though at one point, I was wearing the contents of his stomach, I kept a stiff upper lip and a stable stomach and I took care of my screaming child. I am not saying that it was not disgusting. It was incredibly disgusting; this warm mushy stuff running down my leg and the front of my shirt and I did want jump into the shower as soon as I could get there, it's just I had other things to worry about at the time. Making sure that Mr. Man was OK was my first priority.
I guess that means that I am officially a mommy, but I am not looking forward to the next rite of passage: the first projectile poop!!
I have to state this from the very beginning, I do not have a dainty little clutch purse. I have a 'mom' purse. It looks more like a mini duffel bag than an actual purse. It contains just about anything and everything that I could possibly need. This includes but is not limited to - 2 organizers (one ends in August and one starts in August), straws, mini chocolates, a pair of socks, a magic marker, a Tide pen (usually needed right after the magic marker), safety pins, band aids, several balls and my cell phone at the very bottom.
Because my purse contains a small convenience store, I take it with me everywhere. So I don't understand how I could have forgotten it. In the mornings I have three bags that leave with me; my purse, my lunch bag and the daycare bag. Some how today I only left with two and I didn't realize it until I went to get my purse this morning.
Once I realized it was missing I went into hyper panic mode and tore my desk apart looking for it. When I couldn't find it here, I called the hubby in a panic, and he did a quick sweep of the living room and found it right beside the front door. He dropped it off on his way to work, and I feel better now, because if anyone here gets a paper cut, I am prepared. :0)
OK, so this only really applies to the summer. But it is a very important piece of clothing that should be accessible at all times and I learned that the hard way.
One afternoon, when the line up was too long at Wonderland, we decided to head over to Wild Water Kingdom. There was barely anyone there; I think they were all at Wonderland. The kids changed into their swimsuits but we didn't have ours. So we had to go chasing after two very active kids, through all sorts of wading pools and fountains in our denim Capri's and t-shirts.
By the end of it we were soaked!
Now I always carry a swim suit with me, just in case.
Me other the other hand, was not as well behaved. I am a good flyer generally, but I have never flown with a thirteen month old. I was wound tighter than a top, and ready to snap at just about anybody. I was frazzled from the get go and just ready to come home by the end of the weekend. I think it was all the running. I tend to be hyper - organized and disorganization is one of my pet peeves. I like schedules and sticking to them, but there wasn't much of that this weekend. I really need a restful vacay with nothing to do but just chillax, but for right now I am glad to be home.
A note on the wedding ~ it really was wonderful. The ceremony was beautiful and the reception was a ton of fun. I was honoured to be there to share in the day(s) and even though I was as cranky as I was, I would do it again in a heartbeat.
- A house that cleans itself. That includes doing the laundry and washing the dishes.
- 10 hours of continous sleep
- Chocolate to be one of the four food groups.
Now, I feel so yucky. Usually I am not a very health conscious person, but lately I haven't been eating as well as I should be, and I've been feeling pretty icky. I figure that my crappy eating is resulting in my crappy health and so I have jumped into hyper healthy mode.
My resolutions are as follows:
- No more fast food (or at least not as often),
- More veggies
- And lots more water.
- Try to cut out sweets (which would be like giving up breathing for me)
- Try to walk for about thirty minutes a day.
I know it's not much but hey, its a start and hopefully I will start feeling better soon. I'll have updates every so often about how I am doing, and if I am sticking with my plan.
4. You use baby terms such as potty or baba in conversations with other adults and are shocked when you realize that they don't consider them real words.
3. You cut up your food into tiny bite size pieces.
2. You can discuss projectile vomiting or diarrhea without gagging.
1. You have gone number 2 with a one year old in the bathroom with you.