Dear Pooper

Dear Pooper,

I understand that every living organism on the face of the earth must expel waste, i.e. poop. If they do not they may poison their insides and/or explode. So I do not have a problem with you going in the communal bathroom to poop. But I just have two simple requests for you.

I know that there is a social stigma around poop. And I can understand your need to exit the stall quickly, before anyone can identify that it was you in there making those noises, and filling the bathroom with that odor. But it would be appreciated if you would remain in the stall and ensure that the toilet flushes completely. No one likes the surprise of lifting the toilet bowl lid and finding someone else’s contents. If an additional flush is necessary, please ensure that you do so. I know that water conservation is a major issue during the summer, but in this case that additional flush is essential.

Also, please use the can of floral scented air freshener in the stall when you are done. No one likes to be greeted with the putrid stench of human excrement when they open the door to the stall. All I am requesting is that YOU spray down the stall after you are done and keep the door slightly ajar so that combination of floral and stink can escape.

So behalf of everyone else that has to use the bathroom, it would be greatly appreciated if you could just remember these two simple requests.

Thanks,
Me