If only I knew who to send it to....

Dear Inconsiderate Bozo,

The kitchen is for communal use. Please feel free to use the amenities but remember this is not your home, and I am not your mother. As much as I would love to spend my time cleaning up after you, but I have work to do. I know that concept may be foreign to you, google it, it would be helpful if you understood why you come here everyday.

When you drink that last of the coffee, be so kind as the put another pot to brew. This will ensure that the next time you come in to fill your cup, there is fresh coffee at your disposal. Also, the other people in the office would appreciate it.

Also, when you see that the sugar container is running low, just reach under the counter to the sugar box and refill the container. It’s not very hard to do and you can count it as exercise.

Next, don’t put the milk back into the refrigerator if there is only a half a teaspoon left in the carton. Try to use it up. If your cup is filled to the brim and can hold no more milk, just pour the half a tablespoon in the sink and recycle the container. Recycling is good for the environment, you can tell everyone how ‘green’ you are.

Lastly, cover your food when you warm it up in the microwave. Your chili is a lovely mauve colour, however the microwave does not need a splat of mauve on its ceiling. Also, if your chili, soup, stews or whatever does splatter – clean it up!

Thank you for your time on this matter, you may now return to talking on the phone or playing on the internet.

Regards,
Me