Why can't my past stay in the past?

I have a very checkered past. OK no I don’t, I have a very simple past - my ex-boyfriend liked to beat me.

We were together for about six years and the beatings didn’t start right away. After about two years of fighting and constant breaking up, the hitting started. I was punched in the face & stomach, I was slapped almost daily, I was raped and had a knife held to my throat several times. He came to my work and beat me up in the staircase. He choked me until I couldn’t scream anymore and then punched me in the stomach. And yes, your boyfriend can rape you. If you say no and they keep going, it is rape. I used to wake up to find him on top of me refusing to stop even as I cried and begged. He held a knife to my throat and threatened to cut out my smile because a salesman in a store said I had a very pretty smile.

It took a lot for me to leave. I thought I loved him, no I lie, I thought I wasn’t good enough for anyone else. I had self worth issues, and felt that there was no one else in this world that would love me. Nobody else out there would want me. There were some serious issues at home and I felt very alienated from my parents and sister. He was all that I had, and if the beatings were part of the package, then I would just have to live with them. I tried to leave a couple times and even went so far as to start the ball rolling on a restraining order but I never followed through on anything. We ended up getting back together and I went back to the way things were.

Then I met Milhouse.

On one of our many break ups, I met Milhouse. We met through work and I was getting to know him as part of a deal that was going on between his office and mine. We started off as friends and we were friends for a very long time before we became anything more. He helped to show me just how totally fantabulous I truly am and I love him for that. He’s not perfect but he really does love me.

After a very serious incident with my sister, my niece, Milhouse & my ex, I pressed charges. In total there were 13 charges and he plead guilty to 8 of them. He was given 18 months probation and house arrest. I was given a restraining order.

Well 18 months later, I’m married with a son. I have a new address, phone number and last name. I got a call from his PO today letting me know that his sentence is over and that the restraining order is now expired. I have the option of filing another one as a private citizen (the original one was filed by the police) or just leaving things alone.

I am not sure what I am going to do. If I file a new RO then my ex will be privy to my new address, phone number and name. But if I don’t file a new RO, what if he comes looking for me again? I have nothing to really protect me. I am not sure what steps I should take next. I just wish that my past would stay in the past.